The Winter and A Sweater
by spikeyhairgood
Summary: Clary and Isabelle planned to have a cross-country road trip to spend the last remaining weeks together before having to separate for college. Everything was working out perfectly fine—until Jace Wayland invited himself along for the trip. AU, AH.
1. Paper Towns Style

**Summary:** Clary and Isabelle planned to have a cross-country road trip to spend the last remaining weeks together before having to separate for college. Everything was working out perfectly fine—until Jace Wayland invited himself along for the trip. AU, AH.

 **Disclaimer:** I own nothing but the road trip adventure these played with characters are going on.

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Isabelle and Clary jumped up and screamed in the front seats when someone slammed their palms against the hood of Isabelle's car. They stared forward at Jace, who was smirking at them, and they, in return, glared.

Jace went around the front of the car to the driver's seat where Isabelle frantically tried to roll up her windows. His hand flew through the window, and she continued. His eyes got wide. "You wouldn't."

"I would," Isabelle replied, a glint of mischief in her eyes when they met his panicked ones.

"Isabelle!" he yelled and she lifted her finger when it was a couple centimeters from his wrist.

"No."

"I want to go with you," Jace said, trying to pull his hand out, but it was stuck.

"No."

"Isabelle, come on. Bring me with you. I _need_ a road trip. I need to get out of here." Jace begged.

"You _need_ to get your hand out of my car or I'm going to drive off with you."

Jace pulled. "Well, roll the window down then."

Isabelle smiled sweetly. "Magic word?" She revved on the gas and the two finally turned to notice the third person involved because of a laugh.

Clary shrugged when Isabelle gave her a look. Clary cleared her throat and looked away to try and be invisible.

Isabelle rolled the window down and Jace retracted his hand immediately, inspecting his wrist even though nothing even touched it.

"Bye, Jace," Isabelle said, buckling up her seat belt. Clary followed suit.

Jace's hand flew in and Isabelle stared at it, raising an eyebrow. He pulled it away and stuck his head in while Isabelle narrowed her eyes at him, inches away from his face.

"Please." He looked at Clary. "You're going to need protection. Two pretty girls traveling across the country with no man? You _need_ me."

Clary glanced at Isabelle, slight outrage in her eyes. Isabelle made a move to close the window and Jace grabbed her hand.

"Okay, wrong approach. Come on. It'll be really fun. _Paper Towns_ style, you know?" Jace grinned, raising both his eyebrows twice.

"But they all liked each other." Clary finally spoke.

Jace's face fell. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means we don't want your ass on this road trip, so _no_." Isabelle pushed his face out of the window with her right hand.

Jace stared at Isabelle and Clary looked at her best friend too. There was an expression that Jace Wayland barely used with anybody. Sincerity. He was absolutely serious when he told Isabelle, "I want to see Alec, too."

Isabelle's head rolled down and she sighed. She turned to Clary, and her eyes were asking _I know this was supposed to be a girl's trip. Is this okay?_

Clary glanced between the two childhood friends. "Only if Simon comes."

"Your geeky friend Simon?" Jace interrupted them. "Your Simon friend who never knows when to stop talking?"

"Oh, that makes the two of you then," Clary retorted, crossing her arms. "No Simon, no you."

Isabelle looked away from Clary and at Jace, whose expression was annoyed at the little red head. Isabelle tilted her head and smirked.

"When are you leaving again?" Isabelle held up two fingers. "Two days is plenty of time for me to find soundproof headphones that will block out the noise of—"

"COOL." Isabelle's interruption dripped with sarcasm and Clary pursed her lips, trying not to laugh. "Now move, before I run over your _beautiful_ feet."

Jace stepped back. "See you in two days, ladies." He winked at Clary who made the mistake of making eye contact with him. "Can't wait to see you scantily clad on the beaches of California."

Since Isabelle and Jace knew each other since birth, she knew he wasn't talking to her. Clary imagined shooting daggers at him through her eyes. He laughed.

"You're gross," Isabelle muttered, and drove off into the empty street in the middle of suburban New Jersey.

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 **A/N:** The bickering in this story is my everything. So is the Isabelle/Clary versus Jace Wayland part of it all.

I'm here with another new story even though I've got three other ones in progress, and this may not be smart to add another into my updating schedule when I barely have time to update a lot, but hey, here I am, lol. Please don't get mad at me for that. My creativeness wants to flow freely, and this story idea has been bugging me to get written up.

 **I hope you guys enjoyed the first chapter of this story!** I've been thinking about it for a while, and during a ten minute break at work, I came up with this first chapter.

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To my **DLF & Words loves**, I plan on getting some writing done this weekend (hopefully no unexpected plans come up) and if that happens, those should be updated soon!

This is an unbeta'ed because my wonderful beta is off living the life in Europe, which is amazing. Go aheaaad, **rippingbutterflywings** , live on. So, please excuse any story mistakes I make in the time she is on vacation.

Shout out to **MLC** for the look through. One of my favorite humans, sincerely.

I'd like to shout out my own sister soulmate. My road trip Isabelle. This is for us to live vicariously through. **For Tiffany.**

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Let me know what you guys thought :) **Reviews & feedback, please!**


	2. The Violence in The Pouring Rain

**A/N:** Okay, the feedback and response to the first chapter was INCREDIBLE. Seriously. So incredible. I got so excited by it that I ended up writing this chapter the next day since I was so motivated by you guys.

 **Thank you to anyone to reviewed, favorited and alerted the first chapter! You guys have my love.**

The songs used in this chapter is:

 **Hurricane by Halsey**

Shout out to **jaiipeckham00** for fangirling about Halsey  & just partaking in wonderful conversation with me!

 **Ho Ho Hopefully - The Maine**

The title of this story comes from this song and it's just one of my favorites.

Also, I didn't get to apply this idea to the first chapter, but **I'm going to put quotes in the beginning of the chapters. Just ones that remind me of the story, or the characters in some way.** It'll be really random, but I hope you connect to them in some way.

That's all I've got for this AN. Another AN & shout out's at the bottom :)

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" _I love the way music inside a car makes you feel invisible; if you plan the stereo at max volume, it's almost like the other people can't see into your vehicle. It tints your windows, somehow."_

Killing Yourself to Live - Chuck Klosterman

Walking down the street, Jace could see the Lightwood's garage light on. When he squinted he could see a girl and a guy putting things into the trunk. He huffed, adjusting his duffel strap and continued towards them.

"Did we really have to leave at midnight?" Jace asked, dropping his belongings onto the ground with a thud.

Isabelle looked over her shoulder at him while she and Simon fixed up the trunk of a Mazda 3. It was complete with a road trip hatchback. He guessed it was Clary's.

"You can turn around and go home if it's too early for you, princess." Isabelle turned around to face him and put a hand on her hip. "We won't be here when you wake up." She left to get something from the back seat.

He sighed. "I'm just kidding, Iz. I love midnight. I thrive at midnight."

"Don't complain." She appeared holding a little cooler. "Not complaining is the number one rule of this trip."

"There are rules?" He raised an eyebrow. "What is second?"

"I don't know," she replied, annoyed. "If you fart, you have to open the window. That's the second, maybe."

"That's definitely the second," Clary spoke up, dropping the hood down and walking around the car. "Everything's good." She made eye contact with Jace, and she could read his expression immediately. It was as if his furrowed eyebrows were asking if she was sure the car was okay for a road trip across the country. She crossed her arms. "What?"

Jace straightened up. Clary wasn't asking a question. She was setting him up for a nasty, embarrassing retort if he was going to ask if she was sure that all was well with the car. He wasn't even sure why he doubted her for a second. Clary's step-dad, Luke, was a local mechanic. A well-respected one with good prices and a standup personality. Luke was also Jace's mechanic, and he wasn't going to screw that relationship up.

"Nothing," he mumbled.

Clary stared at him and Jace wasn't sure if he should run. She looked like she was ready to pummel him.

She uncrossed her arms, and made her way to Simon. "Hm."

Jace breathed a sigh of relief. He almost jumped when Isabelle whispered as she passed behind him, "Don't mess with us, Jace. Clary won't hesitate to leave you on the side of the road." Jace turned to look at her with a look of amusement. "I'm serious."

She walked away and Jace's face fell. He gulped. He dumped his duffle into the trunk, and then walked to the left side of the car, opening of the door. Simon looked up at him and the two blinked at each other.

Isabelle looked between the two of them. "Maybe I should sit in the back," she said, looking at Clary, who rolled her eyes. Isabelle grabbed her purse and didn't say a word when her and Simon switched spots, and he made his way to the passenger seat. If this was any other time, she would have called out Clary for having such an attitude but this was supposed to be _their_ trip. But, yet again, Jace got to her in a way that she couldn't say no. She looked over at him, and he was untangling his headphones.

"Those don't look very soundproof," she pointed out, looking at a pair of regular red headphones.

"Yeah, I, uh…" He looked up at her. "I'm sorry," he mouthed.

Isabelle sighed. There was Jace to everyone else, and there was the Jace that she knew. And the Jace that she knew was just a lost boy trying to fool everyone into thinking he wasn't as confused and insecure as the rest of them. She nodded. He looked away and continued.

* * *

While Clary was filling up the car with gas, the other three went in to get snacks and drinks for the car.

"Hold these," Isabelle muttered, starting to stack water bottles on Jace as he cradled them.

"So why _are_ we leaving at this time?" He asked and she shot him a glare. "I'm serious, Izzy. Why not wait until five in the morning or something?"

"Clary likes driving at night." She shrugged.

"Is she a vampire?"

She shrugged again. "It doesn't matter. This way we can get to Virginia Beach to watch the sunrise, and then we will be in New Orleans by around noon tomorrow."

Jace nodded, impressed. "This really is planned out."

"Well, we've been planning it for the past year. You just joined us two days ago," she responded quickly, and it gave away that she was upset at him too for interrupting their trip.

Jace turned away from her, no doubt hearing the irritation in her voice, and didn't say anything in return. She didn't break the silence. There was nothing she could say.

* * *

With Isabelle's outburst earlier, Jace forced himself into silence. He knew she didn't mean to make him feel guilty, but her outburst did. This was a trip that he knew Isabelle and Clary had been planning for a while. He didn't even know why he wanted to join them. He could've just flown out to see Alec in California. He didn't _need_ to go with them. But Jace knew he needed _something_. He needed an event that would make his summer before college memorable, something that made him feel like his life wasn't a waste.

He looked away from the window at Isabelle. She had her feet up, towards him, pressing against the side of his legs and she was asleep, wrapped up in her blanket. He could see that Simon was passed out in the front seat, the right side of his head against his slightly open window, his hair flying around.

He leaned his head back and looked into the rearview mirror. Clary had been playing the same thing on repeat for the past hour and a half. It was the _Room 93_ EP by Halsey, and although he didn't mind it, he did kind of mind that she had been playing it for so long. But Isabelle warned him, in the store, not to mess with what was playing. She told him that if they wanted music played from him or Simon, they would _possibly_ play it.

Just because they were two boys on their girl trip didn't mean this wasn't still _their_ trip.

Jace looked out the window as the third song on the EP, _Hurricane_ , began. It was the song he probably knew most of the lyrics to, and the one he liked the most.

 _There's a place way down in Bed Stuy,_

 _Where a boy lives behind bricks,_

 _He's got an eye for girls of eighteen,_

 _And he turns them out like tricks_

 _I went down to a place in Bed Stuy_

 _A little liquor on my lips_

 _I let him climb inside my body_

 _And held him captive in my kiss_

He could feel the bass thump, as if his heartbeat had adjusted to it and he mouthed along to the words.

 _And there's a storm you're starting now_

 _And there's a storm you're starting now_

 _And there's a storm you're starting_

Jace looked forward, back at Clary, in the rearview mirror while she sang the chorus, slightly swaying her head to it.

 _I'm a wanderess_

 _I'm a one night stand_

 _Don't belong to no city_

 _Don't belong to no man_

 _I'm the violence in the pouring rain_

 _I'm a hurricane_

 _Ha ah ah ha ah ah ah_

 _I'm a hurricane_

 _Ha ah ah ha ah ah ah_

 _I'm a hurricane_

She had her head leaned back, her chin tilted up, and she drove with one hand at the bottom of the steering wheel. He could see why she liked driving the night shifts. The streets were empty, the air was cool, and the music seemed to make them feel even more independent. As if they were invincible.

 _I went down to a place in Brooklyn_

 _Where you tripped on LSD_

 _And I found myself reminded_

 _To keep you far away from me_

 _And there's a storm you're starting now_

 _And there's a storm you're starting now_

 _And there's a storm you're starting_

Jace knew very few things about Clary Fray. Despite them knowing of each other's existence since freshman year of highschool, they barely talked. And by barely, he meant that if it wasn't a sarcastic comment from her, or a flirty line from him, they didn't talk at all.

He knew she moved to their town of Rosemont from Brooklyn, New York City after her mom got remarried to Luke, the mechanic.

He knew that the first guy that went to talk to her on the first day of school hit on her and she _physically_ hit him in the throat. She got sent home. She didn't receive any repprocutions because the principal figured she was having a hard time adjusting. Nope. That was just Clary Fray being Clary Fray. The story got around in school, and the next day Isabelle was determined to talk to her. She liked to be surrounded by strong female energy.

 _I'm a wanderess_

 _I'm a one night stand_

 _Don't belong to no city_

 _Don't belong to no man_

 _I'm the violence in the pouring rain_

 _I'm a hurricane_

 _Ha ah ah ha ah ah ah_

 _I'm a hurricane_

 _Ha ah ah ha ah ah ah_

 _I'm a hurricane_

Which leads to the next thing he knew about her—she only had two friends. Isabelle and Simon. Simon made sense. He usually kept to himself with only a few other friends. Not so much by choice, like Clary, but they were inseparable. When she wasn't hanging out with Isabelle, that is. Jace knew why she and Isabelle became such good friends. He _knew_ Isabelle. Everyone else didn't though. To them, Clary was the girl that wore all black, had black nail polish, and didn't say much. Isabelle was the girl that wore all black, but had bright pink nail polish on. And she was popular. Jace knew Clary could've been, but she just didn't want it. She was kind, from what he heard. Just as long as you weren't a douchebag or a bitch. To Clary, Jace was a douchebag.

 _He says, "Oh, baby, beggin' you to save me._

 _Well lately, I like 'em crazy._

 _Oh, maybe, you could devastate me._

 _Little lady, come and fade me."_

And the last thing he knew about Clary: she dated Sebastian Verlac. He was the most popular guy in school when he was a senior and she was a junior. It was obvious that he always had a thing for Clary. Three months before school ended, she finally decided to give him a chance. No one understood it. Why _her_ with _him_? You could imagine the surprise when she broke up with him during his fall break in college.

And she was good at art. That's it. That's all he knew about the girl.

 _I'm a wanderess_

 _I'm a one night stand_

 _Don't belong to no city_

 _Don't belong to no man_

 _I'm the violence in the pouring rain_

Jace watched the way Clary sang along, how he could hear her voice on the edge of the music blaring in her car. The way she closed her eyes briefly while singing along; the way she looked the way the song sounded. And in that moment, it was like he learned more about her than he had in four years.

 _Come and fade me_

 _Come and fade me_

 _I'm a hurricane_

At first he didn't notice that she was looking back at him through the rearview mirror. He directed his eyes away when the song ended and transitioned into the next one.

"What?" she asked. He knew she was directing the question to why he was staring. But he ignored that.

He turned his attention back to her, pretending he wasn't just analyzing her. "Can we change the album? It's been on for a while."

He watched as her eyes narrowed slightly. "Fine." She reached for her iPod. She clicked on a song and the guitars began to strum.

 _December first I'm in a foreign state_

 _I'm running late, I'm all alone_

 _Wishing I was home with you, baby_

 _She's got a way of making things okay_

 _When she's not around, when she's not around_

 _I'm going crazy_

"Is this...a Christmas song?"

 _We like to talk about the plans we make_

 _And things we say when we're together_

 _I hope for better weather this year_

 _But you my dear, need to know_

 _This year I want you alone_

He could see her trying not to smile.

"Yup."

"But it's not Christmas. Nor is it December. It's not even close."

"And?"

Jace leaned forward, shocked a little at her choice of music. "And it's the opposite of winter. It's summer."

"I'm aware."

 _Ho ho hopefully this holiday will make us believe that_

 _We're exactly where we're supposed to be_

 _And we're ho ho hoping that_

 _We all come back and as a matter of fact I know_

 _We're exactly where we're supposed to be_

 _Together by this Christmas tree_

They were silent for a little as the chorus played, but he spoke up in the middle of it. "But why?"

She shrugged. "I like Christmas music."

"I can deal with it. In the winter time, when the season calls for it."

She groaned. "Alright, Jace. I think it's time to use those soundproof headphones you said you can get _in two days_." She was mocking him with the voice she used and he just wrinkled his nose briefly.

"I don't have them," he said, through his teeth.

She smirked now. "Well, then it sucks to be you." She looked at the road. "Just let it lull you to sleep. It will. I promise."

"Why would I believe a promise you make?"

"Because I don't care enough to lie to you," she responded bluntly.

Jace sighed and closed his eyes, finally taking a moment to listen to the lyrics of the song, and surprisingly soothing instrumentals.

 _We go together like the winter and a sweater_

 _And she makes me feel, she makes me feel alive inside_

 _And when I look into her eyes I see the blue and green_

 _Like Christmas lights, like Christmas lights oh what a sight_

 _She says I've got a way of making everything okay_

 _She's not alone, she's not alone, and never will be_

 _Ho ho hopefully this year I'll have you alone_

And just as she promised, it lulled him to sleep until Isabelle shook him awake during the brink of sunrise in Virginia Beach.

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 **A/N:** Soo, how did you guys like it? I've never really written Clary and Jace barely knowing each other, or not really having talked in the past, so this is a new thing for me. But it's been exciting to do so.

I'd love to know what you think of Clary and Jace so far, and the Jace and Isabelle friendship. Simon hasn't spoken yet, lol, but he's there and he will be speaking in the next chapter. But yess, please continue to be awesome and let me know. **Reviews & feedback, please!**

Short update on the other stories I've got going on if you guys follow those. I just posted an update to **Words** , and I've got another one written so that will be up later on this week! And for **Day Late Friend** , I'm still working on the chapter since those are just massive ones. But, I do promise that it will be finished & posted by the end of this week :) I just wanted to post what I had of this so you guys didn't have to wait since the first chapter was pretty short. I'll be posting DLF before another chapter of Words, that's for sure.

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Shout out to **firequeen8569** **,** **Islandgirl4evR** **,** **Guest,** **eileenaileen** **,** **ClaceAndPeeniss4eva** **,** **jaiipeckham00** **,** and **DeathCabForMari**! Thank you for leaving a review, or reaching out to me to let me know what you thought of the first chapter! It always means a lot to me to know those initial thoughts, and your reviews/messages really did, so thank you.

Thanks to **MLC** for the help, the support, and letting me use his Mazda 3 in this story. **For Tiffany** , thanks for imagining big futures for me.

 **Guest:** So happy to read that you loved the first chapter! Thank you for your review. I hope you like this chapter as well :)


	3. The Tragedy of Living

**A/N:** The love towards this story so far makes me so happy, I can't even explain it. **Thank you anyone who reviewed, favorited, and alerted this story! The response is amazing.**

The song used in this chapter is **Panic Cord by Gabrielle Aplin**. I listened to the **Studio Session** version while writing this.

Main AN & thank you's at the bottom!

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" _All the hardest, coldest people you meet were once as soft as water. And that's the tragedy of living."_

Iain Thomas, I Wrote This For You

Clary stepped out of the car, smiling a little when she saw the sand littering the crevices of the street. She pulled the right sleeve of her thin blue jacket over her hands, feeling the cold beach air breeze past her, and closed the door with her left hand. She stepped back when Jace's door opened, and he emerged with half-open eyes and a clear expression of being confused as to where he was. That made her full-on grin, and he raised an eyebrow at her when she walked past him. She fell into step with Simon, and they simultaneously put their hands into their pockets. She looked over her shoulder at Isabelle, who gave her a nod while she waited for Jace.

Since the world seemed to be asleep at that hour, Clary took the chance of parking in a hotel parking lot. She could hear the waves crashing against the shore, and felt the excitement of seeing the water after they walked past a hedge of bushes.

It was the darkest point of dawn, and Clary almost wanted to run just in case they missed that very thin sliver of the sunrise. She walked before Simon into an opening, and she felt herself smile as the two of them took their shoes off and stepped onto the beach. Clary welcomed the feeling of cold sand beneath her feet. Being at the beach at night was one of her favorite things to do since she moved to Rosemont, and her appreciation for it never faltered.

She glanced at Simon, gripping onto the blanket they were going to sit on. She nudged him a little, and he looked up at her, surprised. She knew he felt bad for intruding on her road trip with Isabelle. He knew how much it meant to her, and, even though she insisted that it was okay since Jace was coming along, he still continued to feel bad. She didn't know how else to tell him that it was okay. That she was actually glad that he came along, because it would give her a little more time with him before they separated for college too.

"Hey," she said, breaking their silence. "Remember that story I made up on the beach once?"

Simon gave her a look. "Which one?"

"The complete one. The one that we talked about for hours afterward. It was all we talked about on that night trip." Clary was holding out her hands. "Come on, Simon! The one about the girl who imagines these crazy situations, but then it happens to her in real life?"

"Oh!" Simon finally sounded like himself, and it made Clary grin. "The one where she gets taken at the end of it."

"Yes!" Clary turned forward, looking around for where they could sit. She pointed and took the blanket from Simon. She threw it out, holding onto an edge, and he took the other side, putting his backpack on it so it would stay down. Clary did the same with her own bag. "We need to tell Isabelle that story when she gets here."

"Will she like it?" Simon asked. Clary nodded. It was so easy for her forget that Isabelle and Simon never hung out. They talked briefly over the past four years, but it was never the three of them together. Clary always felt like she was shared between divorced parents. Only Simon and Isabelle didn't know much about each other at all.

"Yeah, she will. Isabelle loves shit like that."

Clary turned around when she heard Isabelle ask, "Love shit like what?"

"Creepy shit. Dark shit." Clary gave a small shrug. "You know, shit like that."

The corners of Isabelle's eyes crinkled with amusement. "Oh. Shit like that. Yeah, I love shit like that." Clary could spot Jace behind Isabelle. He had a hoodie on, and his hands were stuffed into its pocket. Isabelle sat down, and so did he, right beside her. He threw his bag and it landed perfectly on the top right corner of their blanket, which was waving in the air. He made eye contact with Clary, winked as if it was second nature, and looked back out at the ocean.

Clary rolled her eyes and turned away. She could hear Simon explaining to Isabelle the story that they made up. She liked the way he sounded so comfortable with her, so she decided not to join in the conversation. She just planted her feet into the sand and stared out at the waves crashing in, waiting for the light to appear.

"So Clary's story was about this girl who was going through the motions of her life. Like, she would work during the day, go home and eat dinner, and just sleep. She was new to where she lived and didn't go out to make friends. But the only thing she did for herself was go to the beach at night, and she would just sit there after work for hours."

Clary pulled her arms into her zipped-up jacket and hugged herself underneath it. The jacket was thin, and she wasn't willing to go the car and get a thicker one. Not while Simon was telling this story.

"And, to entertain herself, she would think of all these trippy things. Like, what if someone came out of the water? What if there was someone walking on the beach and then disappeared? You know, that kind of stuff."

Clary smiled to herself when she heard Isabelle whisper, "What the hell."

"So this one night she was sitting there, doing her usual, thinking weird shit up. And then she gets scared because someone talks to her behind her, and she's thinking that she didn't even hear him come up to her. So she's wondering if she's just thinking it up, you know? She gets kind of confused and caught off guard. So she's hesitant to talk to him. It's just him and her on that—"

"What does he say to her?" Isabelle interrupted.

Clary could imagine the way Isabelle was sitting when she interrupted Simon. She was probably leaning forward, eyes wide, mouth slightly open.

"He just asks her how she's doing that night, and what she's doing out there all alone. And while he's standing there, she expects him to disappear. Just like everyone she imagines does. And right when she fully realizes that this may be a real life thing, he attacks her and he ties up her feet and hands, and then he drags her into the water."

Clary turned around when Simon finished and was met with silence. She looked at Isabelle, who was hugging herself, and then Jace, who turned his head to look at her.

"You made that story up?" he asked. She nodded. It was brief, but she saw him smirk before he said, "You're twisted, Fray."

Clary turned back around and leaned her head on her right hand, which was resting on her knee as she sat with her legs crossed. And she smiled slightly.

There wasn't a lot that Clary knew about Jace Wayland. Most of what she heard, she cringed at. But the way Isabelle trusted Jace with her life proved that those things probably weren't the real him.

Jace was well-liked. By everyone. By females, by teachers, by guys who wanted to be him, by parents, by the parents of parents. It was ridiculous. And he mostly got those people by suggestive pick-up lines, kissing ass, or being infuriating.

He was popular. Very popular. But that isn't surprising, since everyone worshipped or absolutely hated him. There usually was no middle ground. Except with her.

Not only was Jace good at basketball—scholarship-worthy even—he was also smart. Real smart. Going to Brown University smart.

He dated half the female population at school.

He was a jerk. But not really. This is where Jace Wayland was a mystery to Clary. She had seen him be one to people at school. But, if he was such a jerk, how could he be family to Isabelle? Clary asked her once how she could interact with him, and Isabelle just replied that Jace was a good actor. Clary accepted the answer and never asked again. It confused everything else she knew about him, because it proved that he was putting up an act. But why?

And the last thing she knew: he was best friends with the Lightwood siblings, specifically Alec, who graduated the year before, along with Sebastian.

Clary looked down. Just like that, she was reminded of him.

"The sun's a risin'. Take a Zzzquil," Isabelle told her, and Clary swore that Isabelle must have had a radar. She appreciated it. She looked over her shoulder at her girl best friend, who pointed at Clary's bag. "Take it. You need to knock out when we get into that car."

"What if I don't make it into the car?" Clary reached for her bag. "What if this knocks me out immediately? If I miss the sunrise, I'll be very upset at you." She began rummaging through it.

"You won't miss it. The sun will rise, and we'll be wondering how it happened so fast," Isabelle mumbled. "And we can't have the hotel catch us."

"Right." Clary pulled a ziplock bag out and opened it.

"Whoa," Simon commented, staring at the clear plastic bag.

It was filled with anything they needed. There were pills for sleeping, sickness, stomach acid, allergies, and anything you could buy in a Target aisle.

"You look like a drug dealer," Jace spoke up, and Clary looked over at him. He looked at her, and then back at the bag. "I like it."

* * *

After the sun made its way into the sky, the group stood up and shook the sand off of themselves. Clary could feel herself losing her grip on being awake, and she could feel herself moving slowly.

"Move it, druggie," Jace muttered, and picked up her bag, holding it with one arm while he and Simon folded the blanket. He turned around and looked down at her. "Yeah, I'll keep this. And this." He picked up her shoes and followed Isabelle, who led the way towards the car.

"I think Clarissa is going to fall. I'll be in the back yelling _timber_ ," Simon commented, and she rolled her eyes.

"Come on, Clarissa!" Isabelle yelled from the front of the line. "You can make it!"

Clary groaned and dragged her feet. She furrowed her eyebrows hearing the familiar tune of Ho Ho Hopefully. She looked around. Could Zzzquil make her hallucinate? She tried her best to follow the sound. She laughed out loud when she realized it was Jace.

And he knew. He stopped walking and looked at her over his shoulder. "Ugh. I blame you."

"I'll take the blame."

"Stupid, catchy Christmas songs," he complained.

Feeling a little more alive from their interaction, Clary walked a little quicker and jumped into the backseat of the car after cleaning off the last bit of sand that clung to her. She made herself comfortable and waited for Simon to sit on the left side in the back so she could put her feet up. Isabelle opened the driver door and threw a blanket towards the back. Clary reached for it and hugged it tightly, holding it against her face.

She watched as Isabelle got comfortable and plugged in her iPod. She sat up immediately when the song started.

 _You kept all the things I threw away_

 _A leaf I picked, a birthday card I made_

 _Holding on to memories of you and me_

 _We didn't last a year, oh_

 _We're just a box of souvenirs_

Clary gulped at Isabelle's song choice. There was no way her best friend could've known that the song screamed Sebastian to her. She never mentioned it, and she never indicated this, but, after having thought of Sebastian for a split second earlier, thoughts of him filled her entire being now.

She wrapped the blanket around herself when Isabelle put her car in reverse, and they all turned to make sure nobody was behind her. She turned into the street, making her way towards the highway.

Clary closed her eyes—from the sting of the song or from the sleeping pill; she wasn't sure at that point. But with her bogged-down mind, Clary couldn't fight away the thoughts. The guilt.

A part of the reason why she and Isabelle wanted to go on this road trip was to not only to be together, but to end high school. As in to let go of anything, or anyone, that held any negative emotion. For Clary, she felt that maybe this road trip could be when she would finally let it go. The guilt. The guilt she had been holding onto for months. The guilt of not being able to love him as much as he loved her. No matter how much she tried or didn't try. The guilt of knowing she wasn't trying as hard as he did. The guilt of wishing she could have. The guilt of being the one to have to let someone down.

 _Maybe I pulled the panic cord_

 _And maybe you were happy, I was bored_

 _Maybe I wanted you to change_

 _Maybe I'm the one to blame_

She was never sure if it was because she was understood his end of unrequited love. She understood now that guilt felt just as suffocating as loving someone who didn't love you back the way you wanted to be loved.

She thought of him constantly. Hurt piled up within her because she knew she didn't miss him, or them, the way he missed it. That thought alone weighed her down. She always felt responsible for his hurt, and she always asked herself questions about him.

Was he okay?

Was he a little damaged now?

Was it awful of her to even imagine that she might be the reason he was damaged?

 _This meant more to you than it did to me_

 _I was full of doubt and you believed_

 _The more that you keep coming over_

 _The more I know it's over, dear_

 _We're just a box of souvenirs_

She couldn't force it anymore. When she started dating Sebastian, she was fully aware that his feelings were stronger than hers. She chose to ignore that she didn't quite feel the same, and she decided to give in to him because she didn't want to hurt him. Only it ended up hurting him more.

Her constant wish was that she could go back and say no to him. Say no to him asking her out. Say no when he asked if she was willing to work it out even if he was in college. Say no when he asked if she cared about him as much as he did for her.

It made her wonder if she could love at all. Sebastian was kind, talented, smart, and a good person. And she enjoyed his company. In all those four years, she had a good time when she hung out with him. But she never looked at him the way she knew he looked at her. Trying to find it in her heart to try and look at him like that ended up doing the most damage.

Breaking up may have been the only fair thing she did for him in those months. It was the only real thing she showed him.

 _Maybe I pulled the panic cord_

 _Maybe you were happy, I was bored_

 _Maybe I wanted you to change_

 _Maybe I'm the one to blame_

At first, she was trying to figure out what was wrong with her. What screwed her up enough to screw _him_ up? But Clary stopped herself after a couple days. She didn't really want to backtrack to think on what it may have been. She couldn't even remember, and it wasn't like it was an excuse to drop that baggage on Sebastian. She didn't really care what caused the way she was. She was who she was now, with full acceptance. She just hated the possibility that she may have passed on any pain to Sebastian.

Isabelle told her constantly that people can't be forced to love another person. No matter how good that person was. She said that carrying the guilt would be useless. She said that Sebastian was okay. Sebastian told Clary himself that he was okay.

She didn't know why she couldn't believe him. Even if he was telling the truth.

All she knew was that, in order to believe him, she had to let it go. It consumed her. And she wanted to let it go somewhere on the way to California, in the middle of night. She wanted her guilt to float up and disappear into the stars. Because maybe then she would finally feel free.

"Clarissa." Clary's eyes glanced at Isabelle's in the rear-view mirror. "Sleep. Now."

With that, Clary closed her eyes and immediately surrendered to sleep, bringing her hopes of feeling free and finding herself again.

* * *

 **A/N:** Clary has my heart and soul. I'm a little nervous at how you guys will respond to her because it's in her own POV and she's very honest of how she thinks/blames.

As a note, **this story will only be in Clary and Jace's POVs.** Unfortunately, none from the minds of Simon or Isabelle. You'll be able to see what's going on with them through Clary  & Jace.

 **Continue to make my days and let me know what you guys thought! Reviews and feedback, pleasee** :)

* * *

Shout out to **jaiipeckham00** , **firequeen8569, buffalofangirl4life, Guest, rippingbutterflywings, Letsgoberetardstogether, Madisontheresa, brightdarknessx, bookobsessedpooj,** and **thenerdyintrovert44**! You guys have my love. Sincerely. I really love writing this story, so to see you guys reviewing and messaging me means everything. Thank you! I'll be replying to your reviews as soon as I can. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!

Shout out to **rippingbutterflywings** for fangirling with me about this story. With any of my stories you do, and it's amazing, and this is no exception. I'm so happy we're mutually in love with this story. Love, your asshole Aunt.

This will be a constant in the entire story, so love to **MLC & For Tiffany**.

 **Guest:** I'm glad to see that you like it, and are enjoying Jace and Clary so far! They'll definitely have the opportunity to get closer as they all travel across the country :) Thank you for your review! Hope you liked this chapter.


	4. Something So Magic About You

**A/N:** You guys are wonderful. So wonderful. **Thank you for the reviews! And thank you to anyone who favorited and alerted the story! Thanks to anyone reading, really.**

The song used in this chapter is **From Eden by Hozier.** Can't stop listening to this album lately, and it felt like the chapter so I hope you like it.

Another A/N & thank you's at the bottom!

* * *

" _Perhaps one did not want to be loved so much as to be understood."_

George Orwell, 1984

Jace could feel the heat of the sun on his face. He immediately felt a crink in this neck, and was immobile as an initial reaction. Finally, he opened his eyes and groaned as he peeled his forehead off the passenger seat window. He moved his neck and it cracked, making him cringe. He continued to crack his neck, and exhaled when he felt like he could move freely again. He looked to his left and his eyes got wide.

Simon smiled, close-mouthed and awkward as he said, "Good afternoon, Sunshine."

He turned to look behind him, towards his left. Isabelle was hugging her pillow, already asleep. Naturally, he turned to see Clary sitting directly behind him. She was slouched in the backseat, the heels of her feet resting where she was seating. She appeared, looking around the left side of the book that she was reading, and greeted him with, "Afternoon, Wayland."

She dug through the cooler in the middle of her and Isabelle, pulling out a bottle of water. She wrapped it in a paper towel and held it out towards him. He and Clary gave a mutual nod towards each other, as his tongue felt thick with sleep.

"If you were wondering, while the two of you were passed out, Isabelle and I made up a driving schedule." Simon glanced over at him. Jace inclined his head to indicate that he was listening. "Since she slept first, she gets the first six hours, which she did. I get one to seven. You get seven to one A.M. And, well, Clary gets her breaking dawn shift until it's Isabelle's shift again."

Jace chugged his water, surprised that he was so thirsty. He gulped one last time, closing the now almost empty bottle. "Sounds good."

Simon followed his answer by telling him, in a softer voice, "Isabelle also said that, while the day and night shift people drive, they should sit together." He shrugged a little. "In case someone starts to fall asleep."

"Right." Jace looked around. It did made sense. But he wasn't sure if it made sense to Clary. He resisted the urge to turn around to look at her expression, but he cursed himself when he wasn't able to stop himself. He did so by looking over his shoulder on his right side. In the sliver between the headrest and her book, he could see her eyes flicker over to make eye contact. He turned immediately around and closed his eyes.

"Right," Simon whispered. "Clarissa, go back to sleep. You didn't get enough of it."

"After the sunset," she replied. "I'll get another hour or two."

He sighed, and then looked over at Jace. "You have an hour, too."

"No, I'm good. Thanks," Jace responded, and Simon didn't make eye contact with him, but he could see Simon give a slight nod. Jace looked out the window, his head leaning back, as his mind adjusted to his current reality of being on a cross-country roadtrip.

* * *

Simon was not amused when Clary never went back to sleep. He glared at her slightly when they stopped at a gas station to get fuel, go the bathroom if needed, and switch drivers.

Jace adjusted the seat settings and looked up when Clary opened the passenger door. She pursed her lips together politely in what Jace guessed was a smile. He did the same in return, and she got in to sit.

The two sat there in silence while waiting for Isabelle and Simon to come back. He could almost hear her sigh in relief when they finally did. And, just as quickly as they did last night, Simon and Isabelle fell asleep, leaving Jace alone with Clary and the steady setting sun.

"Did you want to listen to anything on your shift?" Clary asked, reaching for her iPod. She held in her hand, waiting for his response.

"Uh." Jace glanced down at the iPod. He remembered what Isabelle said about not having a choice in what was played. "Whatever you want." Clary looked down, and he caught her trying not to laugh. " _What_?"

"Nothing," Clary responded, shaking her head. She kept her gaze on her lap while Jace stared at her, while she looked like she was on the brink of laughing. She looked up at him and let it out. He narrowed his eyes. "It's okay to choose a genre. An artist, or something. I know Isabelle told you the music was our territory, but you will be driving for six hours, so." She looked back at her iPod. "What'll it be?"

Jace was still hesitant. Like he was being set up for a trap. But she continued to wait patiently for his answer, so he gave her one. "You have Hozier?"

"I do." Instantly, Clary's thumb was searching and tapping, and the album started playing almost instantly.

"Thanks."

"No problem." With that, she made herself comfortable by slouching into the seat, her feet up on the dashboard. She had her book in her lap, but she wasn't cracking it open.

Jace wasn't sure if he should have been making idle conversation with her. Clary didn't seem the type to need it. Although...he barely knew her. It hadn't even been twenty-four hours since they started this trip, and they were about to always be together—whether it was in the car, at the places they planned on visiting, or sharing rooms with Simon and Isabelle—for however long this trip was going to end up being. Together. Twenty-four hours. Every single day. So he tried it. If they weren't going to start getting along now, they would have to soon enough. They didn't really have a choice.

"I did like the story you made up." She looked over at him, surprised that he was initiating conversation.

"Thanks." She tucked her hair behind her ear, and he knew that she wasn't comfortable accepting compliments, but she was trying to get better at it.

"Is that what you're gonna be doing?" He kept his eyes on the road. "I mean, for college."

"Yeah."

Jace gripped the steering wheel when she didn't say anything else. He was willing to make conversation—he wasn't willing to interview Clary in the process of doing so.

"NYU."

He looked at her, surprised. "Oh. Nice." Jace gave a nod. "Brown." He pointed at himself.

She smiled a little, and it made him feel a little less dorky for even doing the action. There wasn't anyone else awake in the car for her to confuse who he may have been talking about.

"I heard," she told him. "Izzy told me." Her smile didn't leave her eyes. "That's great. It's an amazing school."

"It is." Jace couldn't help but grin. "I always knew I wanted _that_ school. There's something about it. And it's just far enough away."

"You want to get away?"

Jace shrugged. "Doesn't everybody?"

Clary was quiet for a moment. "Yeah, I guess."

"Well, I didn't want to get as far away as Izzy did." Jace instinctively looked into his rearview to see Isabelle still sleeping. "But I think a part of it was because she wanted to be somewhere by Alec."

"Yeah." Clary looked out the window, her fingers lightly grazing the glass. Jace was entranced for a moment. He watched her hand dance across the window, passing through the orange, purple, yellow, and red of the sky. He blinked his mind out of it and looked back at the road. "Simon's going far away, too. He's going to Stanford."

Jace's eyes got wide for a moment. "Stanford. Wow."

"About five hours away from Santa Barbara." Jace glanced at her with a raised eyebrow. "I checked how far they would be from each other. When I was checking how far away they would be from me."

Jace kept his eyes on the road. For some reason, when Clary said it, there was a pang in his heart. He didn't know whether it was the sadness of her statement, or the fact that the four people sitting in the car would be living separate lives in a couple of weeks. It felt bizarre in some ways.

"So, why NYU?"

Clary leaned her head back. "I don't know. It feels like home, I guess." Jace couldn't see her face, but he could tell by the rigidness in the way she was sitting that she was ready to say something else.

"Do you regret it?" She looked at him, and he couldn't pinpoint her expression. "I mean, do you wanna go anywhere else now that we've graduated?"

Her gaze dropped down and away from him again. "I spent a lot of my high school years working towards NYU. I guess I never really had the chance to try for anywhere else." Jace nodded, understanding. "Did you think of anywhere but Brown? I mean, now that you're about to go there, too."

Jace shook his head to say no. "Always been Brown. Even though my father wanted me to go to Yale." Clary's eyes got wide. "Yeah, his _alma mater_." Jace mocked his father's voice, and Clary couldn't help but chuckle.

"That's wild." Clary shook her head in disbelief.

"What is?"

"The options you had. It sounds amazing." Clary kept her eyes on the sunset, which was starting to blend into the night. The gradient of colors into the steady blue and black. Jace wondered how long they had been talking. "My mom just went to community college. Me going to NYU is like a family dream."

"My mom went to NYU," he confessed. He saw by the way Clary froze that she knew that his mom passed away when he was a kid. He appreciated her not saying anything about it afterwards. He knew things must've happened to her to make her the way she was, or why she even moved to Rosemont in the first place, but he would never ask about those things either.

The two sat in silence for a couple of songs until Jace looked over, the night finally upon them, and the music sounded louder now that it was dark.

 _Babe, there's something tragic about you_

 _Something so magic about you_

 _Don't you agree?_

 _Babe, there's something lonesome about you_

 _Something so wholesome about you_

 _Get closer to me_

"Why are you being nice to me?"

Clary grinned. "What does that mean?"

 _No tired sighs, no rolling eyes, no irony_

 _No 'who cares', no vacant stares, no time for me_

Jace couldn't help but laugh at the ridiculousness of his question. "I mean, why are you so nice to me right now? You've never really been nice to me."

"And you've never _not_ hit on me."

Jace sucked in through his teeth. "Touché."

She let out a laugh. "Well...you're not a jerk."

"Neither are you."

She gave him a dirty look. "Thanks. But you've been one. I saw you be one numerous times in school. Simon's friends were some of your targets."

"But?"

 _Babe, there's something wretched about this_

 _Something so precious about this_

"There is no _but_." His eyebrows furrowed, and she laughed again. "But...you aren't. I mean, I knew there was always a chance you could've been nice—you are like Isabelle's family, after all—but I just never got to see it for myself."

"So I'm nice? I'm not a jerk?" He smirked at her.

 _Babe, there's something broken about this_

 _But I might be hoping about this._

"No, you're still kind of a jerk."

Jace wanted to lightly push her like a grade schooler, but he didn't. He wanted to reach out and tug at the ends of her hair. And he wanted her to keep looking at him like that. Her eyes were meeting his, and he realized that, for the first time, he wasn't thinking that they held any dislike or disgust. She looked like she was seeing him for the first time. When she looked away, he caught her smile before her hair covered the left side of her face. He did the same, not being able to stop himself.

He just stared out down the empty road, thinking that he enjoyed seeing the green of her eyes. He enjoyed the way she looked at him—like she was analyzing him right back. He enjoyed the way that he could finally read her emotions.

After all these years, he was finally seeing and being seen by Clary Fray. And he _really_ fucking enjoyed it.

* * *

"Oh no. Not this shit again." Jace covered his ears, as Clary was now sitting in the driver's seat for her shift.

"Will you just shut up and go to sleep?" she retorted. "I let you play your music, now don't complain about mine."

"It's Christmas music!" He dropped his hands from his ears.

"Stop screaming. Isabelle will cut you."

Jace didn't reply because he knew that it was very possible.

"I don't want it."

"Then go to sleep," she hissed. "Want me to play your lullaby?"

" _What_ is my lullaby?"

Amusement was evident in her eyes when she grinned at him. "'Ho Ho Hopefully', of course."

He scoffed. "Please. That won't make me sleep. It'll make me angry."

She rolled her eyes at his dramatics. "It'll make you sleep. I promise."

"It—"

"What did I say about my promises?"

Jace side-eyed her. "I don't know? Not to believe them."

"Oh, how witty! No wonder the Ivy league accepted you."

Jace burst into loud, sarcastic laughter, and, before he could process what she was going to do, Clary slapped him in the chest. He cleared his throat when his mind registered the pain, and he got temporarily thrown off by her even touching him.

"Now sleep, Brucey."

"Who the hell is Brucey?"

Clary looked over at him. "You know, Bruce Banner."

Jace's eyebrows furrowed. "Can't I be Captain America?"

"You are _not_ moral enough to be Captain America."

Jace closed his eyes. "This is true," he responded simply. " _Fine_. Play it."

He could feel her smiling when the now all-too-familiar guitar notes began to play. And as much as he hated it, he drifted right into sleep. He could almost hear Clary's snickering as he was giving in.

* * *

 **A/N:** I honestly get _thee_ feels writing Clary and Jace in this story, so I hope you're all with me on that. I love the way he sees her, and the banter is everything. I love the way you all reacted to Clary in the last chapter. You felt along with her, and got what she was saying, and that was the best response.

As a note, that story in the last chapter that Clary thought up was one I actually wrote for a Creative Writing class. I figured I might as well mention it in here, lol.

 **Continue to be lovely, and let me know what you guys thought! Reviews & feedback, please** :)

* * *

Shout to **rippingbutterflywings** **,** **buffalofangirl4life** **,** **Madisontheresa** **,** **Mollytamale** **,** **Cheyashton** **,** **brightdarknessx** **,** **OhSnapItzCat** **,** **bookaddict223** **,** **bookobsessedpooj** **,** **EchoMuse,** **firequeen8569** **,** and **jaiipeckham00**! Thank you so very much for your reviews! Inspirations, all of ya. Your reviews get me as giddy as Jace's obvious crush on Clary. I'll be PMing you all my replies tonight :)

Shout out to **rippingbutterflywings** for beta'ing the mistakes I make, fixing my many misplaced commas, and being an important source of support! Love, Asshole Aunt.

Shout out to **MLC** for reading through this because I was too excited to wait, and for making essential changes. Shout out to **For Tiffany** because I still wish we were on the road together right now.

 **EchoMuse** : Thank you for your review! I loved it. I absolutely understand what you're saying about how it's cute—even though her thoughts were pretty dark and emotional there. I like that they make you feel calm! I'm usually aiming for that with these chapters. Glad you like the creepy, dark story. I actually wrote that for a class. I mentioned in the AN up there, but yes, haha. And of course, I love that you enjoy the music. Indie is _alway_ s a good idea. Thank you for listening the songs! I hope you liked this song too, because it's one my favorites right now. I would never make fun of your commas! Mine are a mess before they get beta'ed so I completely understand. Can't wait to read what you thought of this chapter :)


	5. Waiting Around to Uncover

**A/N:** Hellooo. It has been so long (too long) since I've updated this story so I will keep this beginning AN short. But I just need to say that the response to the last chapter was INCREDIBLE (caps needed) and I just wanted to give a huge thank you. This story feels like magic to me, and I'm just glad there are people reading and responding to it. **Thank you for the reviews!** They all put a huge smile on my face. **Thank you to those who favorited and alerted this story! Thanks for just reading it at all.** Now, on to the chapter! _Please check out the AN at the bottom—I've got news for the music lovers reading_ :)

The songs used in this chapter are:

 **505 - Arctic Monkeys**

 **Ain't Misbehavin' - Sarah Vaughn**

 **Come Away With Me - Norah Jones**

* * *

" _I seek to learn about the world around me. I seek to learn about what I actually am. I seek to learn how to be a proper human being."_

Ringu Tulku

Clary had her head leaned back and was staring out her window behind the passenger seat. When Isabelle switched with her, she was persistent in trying to get Clary to fall asleep until they got to New Orleans. Isabelle finally gave up after an hour and ignored Clary's presence while she talked with Simon. Clary didn't mind. She enjoyed staring at the window and listening to the music that Isabelle was letting Simon choose. Right now he was playing "505" and she smiled when he did. She figured that they bonded that first day, because she could feel the quiet awkwardness they had with each other from the day before disappear.

Clary looked to her left at her own driving partner. His head was tilted back, and he was slightly snoring with his mouth half-open. She turned back to her window. They were inching closer into town, and she knew she should've woken him up, but, as she had been for the past couple hours, she was thinking about their conversation last night. Clary could feel something shift between them. And she wondered now if it was just a one-time thing, or if this would happen nightly. And would it only be nightly? Would they be nice to one another during the day?

She actually hoped things wouldn't change during the day. She wanted to keep berating each other in the daylight. She _wanted_ things to only feel like that between them when they would be driving through the night. In the night, when it felt like they were the only ones awake. It felt like a secret. Like _their_ secret. And the thought of it becoming something that seeped into during the day felt unsettling.

And, as if he heard her, Jace startled himself awake. She made a face and he sat up, looking disheveled and confused, and then looked at her. She found herself frustrated that she couldn't pinpoint his expression.

"Did you throw anything into my mouth?"

Clary smiled, and she wasn't sure if it was because of how Jace's voice was exactly what boys should sound like in the morning, or because he wasn't treating her any differently.

"Yeah."

She turned away to hold back her laugh. She finally let it out when she could hear him clearing his throat and coughing.

* * *

"What're we doing?" Jace asked, getting out the car. He looked around, throwing his light hoodie on.

Clary rolled her eyes. "You haven't even left the car. Can't you just walk in a direction before asking?" She pulled on the sleeves of her own hoodie.

"Don't try to glare at me over the car. I can only see your forehead and eyes, and you look ridiculous," he responded, and she glared.

"Enough, children," Isabelle said, sounding tired as she closed the trunk. "We are going to eat—at Cafe Amelie, if you must know, Jonathan." Jace closed his mouth, and Clary snickered. Simon walked behind them, shaking his head, as their group walked into the French District of New Orleans. "And then we will go to the hotel and get some much needed rest before we have dinner during sunset and go around town at night." She looked at Jace. "Any questions?"

"Just one." He held his index finger in the air.

"Of course. What is it?" She sighed.

"When are we going to haunted plantation houses?" He grinned, and Clary looked at Isabelle, alarmed.

"Um, what?" Clary asked. "Please don't say it'll be nighttime."

"It'll be at nighttime," Jace told her, and Clary ignored him.

"Tomorrow before we leave. It'll be six in the morning, so maybe you'll catch something, Jace." Isabelle shrugged.

Jace's jaw dropped. "What is a haunted plantation house without it being nighttime? That's just a plantation, and that is no fun."

Clary pointed as they crossed the street. "There. A Voodoo store. Why don't you just stay there for the night? Meet us at the car in the morning."

"Oh, very clever," Jace mocked. He looked at Simon. "Why so quiet? You scared of the plantation house too?"

"No. I just can't get a word in with all this flirty bickering going on between you two," he mumbled, and caught up to Isabelle after the two stopped walking in shock.

Jace looked down at Clary. "I feel like flirty bickering isn't even a thing."

Clary stared at him and simply walked away.

* * *

Clary stared down at the powder blue tablecloth, and then into her coffee. She felt like she was transported into a different world, a different life, and she loved it. She looked at Izzy, who had her sunglasses on, biting daintily into her breakfast. Clary sipped her coffee, and the two were swaying slightly to "Ain't Misbehavin'," which they could hear all the way from inside while they sat in the patio area. She looked up, and Jace raised an eyebrow at her.

"What?" she asked, and Isabelle looked over at him too.

"I'm just not sure if I'm here with two 18-year-olds or my grandmother."

"Imogen is fabulous. It is an honor to be compared to her," Isabelle snapped at him as his eyes got wide. He said nothing in return, and it made Clary grin as she turned her attention away and continued on with her people watching.

Even though it would bring her uncomfortably close to Jace at the small table they were seated at, Clary leaned forward and rested her chin in her hand. Jace was doing the same and he glanced at her. Instead of getting annoyed at his blatant stare, she winked at him. And it took all that was in her not to laugh out loud at his reaction. He was obviously not expecting it, but, soon after, she found that his recovery would be for the worse. He leaned back, slouching, crossed his arms, and looked at her in a way that _clearly_ was meant to give the impression of _I'm undressing you with my eyes_. Clary tried her best to look back at him sternly and not give in or flinch at the way his eyes were heavily lidded, his lips slightly parted. Then his eyes slowly went from her eyes down to her lips, and finally, when they started to go south of her face, she slammed her hands onto the table, making Isabelle and Simon jump in their seats.

"Truce!" she almost screamed at him, and he doubled over in a fit of laughter.

Isabelle groaned. "Seriously? What is it going to take for you two to get along?"

Jace looked from Isabelle to Clary when she said that, meeting her glare, and pursed his lips. And, for some reason, she knew that he was thinking of their drive just a couple hours before.

Clary shook her head and finally let herself smile. "Nothing. It's impossible."

* * *

After breakfast, the group walked around the French Quarter a little longer until Isabelle dragged them into the hotel because _Clary can't even keep her eyes open_ —something Clary vehemently denied, even though Isabelle was absolutely right. They all rested for a couple hours before Simon woke them all up to start getting ready. He couldn't get much of a nap in when Jace sprawled himself across the double bed they were supposed to be sharing. After getting all dressed up, they walked from their hotel to a restaurant called Muriel's Jackson Square. They'd made it through dinner without any complaints or arguing from any of them, since they were all in awe that they were even in New Orleans. After dessert, they found themselves just looking around the restaurant, all sitting there in silence.

From the corner of her eye, Clary could see Isabelle turn in her chair to watch the live band play covers of jazzy songs behind them. Clary did the same, and the two rested their elbows on the backs of their chairs and watched as couples swayed on the tiny dance floor. She figured it wasn't even a dance floor, just an open area, but she understood why they needed to make it one.

 _Come away with me in the night_

 _Come away with me_

 _And I will write you a song_

Clary observed the couples while wondering who lived here and frequented this restaurant. She wondered if they were couples on road trips too, just visiting. She wondered if they were feeling just as content as she was. She wondered if they were running from something, or deciding to find themselves.

She turned around when Jace called her by simply saying, "Fray."

She stared at him while he smirked at her. She narrowed her eyes. " _What_?"

"I'm about to make your prom dreams come true."

"Prom is over." She raised her eyebrows.

"Exactly. So this is your second chance to ask me to dance," he said with a grin.

Simon turned to his right at Jace with an incredulous expression. He looked at Clary and she knew he was asking her: _is this guy delusional?_

"I would ask you to make sure you _didn't_ dance with me," Clary told him. "Not like you could dance with anyone else when Kaelie's ass attached itself to your groin."

Jace feigned offense. "Ouch. No need to be jealous, Clarissa. We can dance right now."

"I don't _want_ to dance with you," Clary told him, loud and clear, her annoyance apparent in her voice.

Jace shrugged. "Well, too bad. Because I want to dance with _you_."

Clary looked at Isabelle, who turned to look back at her at the same moment.

Just as Isabelle opened her mouth to speak, Jace clamped his hand down on Simon's shoulder and said, "Go ahead. Ask Izzy to dance. I don't want you two awkwardly sitting here while Clary and I take the dance floor."

Simultaneously, Isabelle asked, "What?" while Clarissa's voice rose in volume when she told him, "I am _not_ dancing with you."

"Well," Simon spoke up, and the two girls looked at him. He was looking at Isabelle, who couldn't hide her surprise. "Would you like to dance?"

Clary looked from Simon to Jace, catching the corner of his mouth turn up. It disappeared when he looked back at her, and then stood up. Simon did the same, walking over to Isabelle when she replied, "Sure!"

Clary watched the two walk away and smiled. She could feel the excitement exuding from both of them. Simon, because he was about to dance with Isabelle Lightwood. And Isabelle, because she was about to slow dance in a small, jazzy restaurant in New Orleans.

Jace cleared his throat, and she turned to look up at him. "Come on, Fray. The song is about to end," he said, sounding bored.

"Good," she replied quickly.

She watched the smugness disappear from Jace's expression. "Seriously, Clary. Please go out there and dance with me a little."

She scrunched her nose and stood up. He grinned and held out his hand. She looked at it and could _feel_ her heart beat faster. She gulped and reached out for it. Jace immediately led her to the dance floor once her hand was in his. Before Clary could place her hand on Jace's shoulder, he did it for her, and immediately placed his hand on her hip. Clary had never been more appreciative of dim twinkle lights. She was absolutely sure that her face was a bright red from not expecting him to do that.

Once the initial shock of it wore off, Clary found herself enjoying the moment—the music, the decor of the restaurant, and the way Jace led her slightly. She resisted the intense urge to just rest her head on his chest. She looked over at Simon and Isabelle and found them grinning at each other. Isabelle stepped back, and Simon spun her, and she giggled when she came back to him, placing her hand on his shoulder. Clary looked up and found Jace watching them too. He smiled, looking down at her.

 _And I want to wake up with the rain_

 _Falling on a tin roof_

 _While I'm safe there in your arms_

 _So all I ask is for you_

 _To come away with me in the night_

 _Come away with me_

Clary pulled her head back. "Did you—"

"She really wanted to dance." He shrugged a little. "And he really wanted to ask her."

She looked over at Simon and Isabelle and shook her head slightly. "That is very kind of you."

"Yeah, I know." Clary turned her head to give him a blank stare. He laughed, throwing his head back, and led her away from him so he could spin her.

"You can't just spin me every time you say something stupid," she told him as they settled back into their comfortable position.

"I could try," he whispered. The song changed, and Clary didn't mind that their group of four didn't make a move to leave the dance floor.

As much as she tried not to, Clary found herself sneaking glances at Jace. He looked away, just as she had, to avoid the awkwardness of intensely staring at each other's faces. But she had to—her mind was clouded with thoughts of him. And she knew that she would only be discovering more about him as the days passed, and the roads would pass beneath them as they traveled.

There was something beautiful about Jace Wayland. And it wasn't just his face. It was something she couldn't quite pinpoint—something that revealed itself to her in bits and pieces. Something she actually didn't mind waiting around to uncover. It was something about him that was broken—but strong. Something that told her time and time again over the past twenty-four hours that he would understand her. No matter what the topic was.

Clary looked away, back at Simon and Isabelle, trying her best to ignore the fact that, after Jace spun her, he pulled her in closer.

* * *

 **A/N:** I was fidgeting while writing this chapter because I was _filled_ with the feels. But that'll definitely be a constant during this story, so I should probably just accept that early on, lol.

Mkay, so I mentioned something in the beginning AN about something for you readers who enjoy the music in this story. **I've created a playlist for this story!** Along with playlists for all my other stories ( _As Lovers Go, Day Late Friend, and Words/Brooklyn Carter_ all included, plus a playlist for throwback pop punk lovers). If you guys are interested in listening to it, **you can go to the 8tracks website** **and search for my username, which is mariegarbagio.** I just published the _Winte_ r playlist last night because I didn't have enough songs before this chapter. I hope you guys like it! And please check it out, like it, and let me know (there or here on ff) what you guys think about it.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as I did while writing it! Please continue to be awesome, and let me know what you think :) **Leave some reviews & feedback!**

* * *

Shout out to **rippingbutterflywings, Smiles Burn In The Styx** (your use of Ho Ho Hopefully _had_ me) **, Guest, EchoMuse, Mollytamale, shadowhunter-tiger-guardian, Guest, ICouldBeYourFantasy, bookaddict223, oesteffel, thenerdyintrovert44, brightdarknessx, buffalofangirl4life, BookNinja46, and Eugenia1408**! In all sincerity, I loved all your reviews. Thank you so much taking the time to leave them, and really showing me that you guys are liking this story as much as I do. I feel like we're all in a circle jumping over this story, and I love that so much. I'll be replying to reviews throughout the day :)

Shout out to **rippingbutterflywings** for being so gigil with me, an awesome beta, and just being a wonderful little sister. Thank you for your support. You've got my lovee, MS Clary. Your WS Clary/Asshole Aunt/Big Sister appreciates you very much.

Shout out to **MLC** for an infinite amount of things, but in this instance, for being a lovely source of support, and inspiration. Shout out to dear **For Tiffany**. Miss you very much, and always proud of you. _505 is for you._

 **Guest:** So happy that you mentioned the banter. There's plenty of it in this chapter so I hope you enjoyed it :) Thank you for your review!

 **Guest:** Glad you liked the chapter! I wish I could've responded about your review sooner just because you told me I should see Hozier live, which was crazy because days before I posted this chapter I bought tickets to see him at a festival! You made me even more excited to see him live :) Thank you for your review!


	6. Wild and Beautiful

**A/N** : Helloo, loves. I explained my absence in my AN for Day Late Friend but I need to briefly say something here as well. I'm so sorry that my update has taken so long but I had to take the time to really just write for myself and I needed time to get there. I still need to keep my main focus on DLF but I wrote a page for this story two months ago, and wanted to finish this chapter up. I've missed writing this story very much and the chapter is shorter than the others, but I hope you guys like it!

* * *

" _She reminded me of the sea; the way she came dancing towards you, wild and beautiful, and just when she was almost close enough to touch she'd rush away again."_

 _Glenda Millard_

Jace led Clary into an unexpected spin. She gasped, but went with it, and it gave him a moment to get away from the smell of her perfume. It wasn't as if it was particularly strong, or that it was a new scent—she had been wearing it since he met her—but he never quite noticed it until now.

He tried his best to ignore how he began to tie his memories of her to that scent. The way she looked in the car the night before. The way her head tilted back when she laughed. The way her fingers danced across the sunset. He remembered glimpses of her in school, walking down the hallway with Isabelle, Simon, or just on her own. The way she always looked like she was in another world, her thoughts being anywhere other than where she actually was. The way she looked happy for Isabelle and Simon just moments ago.

He tried his best to ignore all of it.

"Jace," she said, looking up at him in concern. _Damn_. And he knew she must have been saying his name a couple of times. "Izzy and Simon went back. C'mon."

When they sat back down, he knew he actually couldn't ignore any of it at all. And it was as if he began to see all their memories in a different view.

 _Clary stepped into the kitchen and glanced around with wide-eyes before inclining her head and walking right through the group that made an inconvenient circle._

 _Alec stepped aside, a huge grin on his face when Clary stopped in front of him. "Sorry," he mumbled, and she smiled back at him. A genuine one. One that gave away the feeling that Alec and Clary had their own friendship that wasn't really publicized._

" _Hi, Clary," Sebastian spoke up. Clary looked up at him and smiled, too. Jace shook his head. It was obvious what the smile that Clary gave Sebastian was. It was a pity smile. The one that said "I know you're in love with me, but I'm sorry, I barely even think about you" and it pained Jace that Sebastian couldn't see it._

" _Clarissa," he said, and then seemed to growl. She turned around, two water bottles in her hand, and glared at him. Now_ that _look, Jace knew, was reserved for him. She walked back past him, and whispered a "hello" to Maia, which Maia returned, with Jordan's arms wrapped around her._

 _Maia looked up at him and shook her head. "Why are you such a creep to her?"_

 _Jace shrugged. "It's how we communicate. She enjoys our banter."_

" _If glaring counts as banter," Jordan told him, leaning an elbow on the kitchen island. "She hates you."_

 _Jace shrugged again. "Like I care."_

But he did. He had always cared deep down—deep, deep down—that Clary seemed to _hate_ him. She was never kind to him—not like she was to everyone else. Even if it was the two of them in the room. And in those situations, she was just silent. And he never tried to be anything but creepy to her, so he couldn't blame her. But sitting across from her, in a state miles from their own, he cared now. And he was too weary to come to terms with why.

The group finished their second round of dessert and made their way back to their hotel. The whole time, Jace was uncharacteristically silent. He had no witty remarks, he answered questions with no attitude; he smiled when they did as the culture of live music in the streets of New Orleans surrounded them. He wasn't himself, and it was apparent to Isabelle, who asked him if he was okay every five minutes. Even Simon asked if he was okay.

Clary didn't ask at all. And Jace thought it was because she didn't care if he was okay or not—or because she wasn't ready for the reason he might be telling her.

And just like that, Clary felt as far as she did 24 hours ago. It made their moment feel like a dream. It made their secret for a day seem like it was just conjured up in his mind.

So, as soon as they got back to the hotel, he showered and crashed into bed while Isabelle, Clary, and Simon sat outside enjoying the little jazz band playing on the street beneath their balcony.

* * *

 _Jace_.

Jace cursed himself in his mind. Now he was hearing her voice in his sleep. He was losing it. _Really_ losing it. Over Clary Fray. He hated it.

Then his eyes snapped open when he felt a hand on his shoulder. She retreated her hand and closed her eyes.

"Scary," she whispered, shaking her head.

"You're the one waking me up in New Orleans in the middle of the night, and _I'm_ the one that is scary?"

She opened her eyes and smiled. "I knew you were okay. Come on." She stood up and walked around his bed, and he could hear her quietly open the balcony door.

Jace stared at a snoring Simon on the other bed. He sighed and got out of bed.

He had no idea how he got to the point where he would've done almost anything Clary asked him to do.

He stepped out onto the balcony, and she was already sitting in one of the chairs. He sat down, looking at her until she made eye contact with him. She smirked and looked up into the sky.

"You won't go into a plantation, but you'll sit on here in the middle of the night." He looked down at the streets. No jazz players, and the usual people that crowded the streets weren't there. "You know this whole city is haunted; it's not just in the bayou or plantations."

"I'm aware."

"You're so odd."

"Thanks."

Despite himself, Jace smiled. "Is this what you're going to do every night of this road trip? Wake me up whether we're in the car or in a hotel room?"

Clary opened her eyes and looked at him with an intensity that made him realize what he said. She looked away, and he knew that she wasn't pleased that he verbally acknowledged what they had going on.

He didn't want to ruin what they had, and he hated wondering if it was fragile enough to end because of mentioning it. It could have been, though. Simply because it had been a day.

He just wanted this secret to be _theirs_.

"Let's go to the plantation," he told her, and she let out a laugh. He breathed a sigh of relief, glad that the tense moment between them left as quickly as it happened. "You're a chicken shit."

Jace didn't know how long they had been sitting in silence. Complete silence. With no music and no urge to fill that silence with conversation. They sat comfortably together, staring up at the sky, not letting sleep get to them.

He thought about how life would have been if he and Clary were friends in high school. He thought about how he somehow understood Sebastian's madness over her. How he slightly got why Sebastian was relentlessly interested in her, no matter who his girlfriend was. He wondered if Sebastian was okay. If he found someone else; if he wanted to find someone else.

He tried to understand if Clary actually was in love with him, or really just felt bad for him. He didn't know which was worse. They all seemed to be the same.

He realized all the ways that Clary and Isabelle were similar and became best friends. He stared at the ground when the thought of their separation became too much. He understood even more so why Clary was so upset with him when he invited himself.

He also wondered why all he could think about was the girl sitting beside him.

"Jace."

He looked at her, surprised that she would be the one to break that silence. But he knew she would only break it for something important.

"Clary," he replied with the same softness in his voice.

He glanced at the way she now held her hands together, and made eye contact with her when she looked over.

"I'm sorry I acted like I didn't care."

He looked down for a moment at the bottom of her chair, and then his eyes met hers.

"I'm sorry for treating you like everyone else."

Her eyebrows furrowed a little, but she gave a nod and didn't question it. Just like he didn't question her, or anything they left open-ended between them. That may have been his favorite thing about them.

Although his favorite things about them were really starting to pile up.

* * *

 **A/N:** I really hope you guys love this Clary  & Jace because I ship them so hard. I had another scene in mind but it had to come from Clary's POV.

A reason I also needed to finish the chapter I started was because the response from the last chapter was AMAZING. **Thank you, thank you, thank you for the reviews, the favorites and the alerts. Thank you for anybody reading along with this story.** I'm loving that you guys are with me when it comes to getting the feels for everything in this story.

Keep being wonderful and let me know what you think :) **Reviews and feedback, please!**

* * *

Shout out to **rippingbutterflywings, Nlresda123, I'm A Writing Dreamer, Emily1515, shadowhunter-tiger-guardian, Ava, Luvmortalinstruments, Page1of365, brightdarknessx, Guest, torigirl103, oesteffel, bookaddict223, ExplosiveCreator, Guest, shortcomings, ClaceAndPeeniss4eva, bookcrazy737, lovedance02,** and **crazyweirdunique**! Thank you so much for your reviews. All your reviews had me mentally and sometimes physically jumping just because I loved them all. That and I was just glad you were all as filled with feels as much as I was. I'll be replying to your reviews soon :) thank you guys, sincerely.

Shout out to **rippingbutterflywings** for being an amazing beta and a friend, who gets gigil with me over moments in this story. Just as I get gigil for you in real life. Thank youu for everything, MS Clary.

Shout to **MLC** and **For Tiffany**. We miss you, Jude. Can't wait to see you soon.

 **Ava:** Thank you for your review! This update took a while but I hope you like it just as much :)

 **Guest:** You're lovely. Thank you for such a kind review!

 **Guest:** Thank you for your review! So glad that you love it, dear :)

 **Emily1515:** I hope you get to see this! I tried to reply to your reviews but the PM wasn't on so I hope you don't mind me replying here. Thank you for your review, so glad you liked the chapter :)


	7. And That Changes Everything

**A/N:** It is December 1st today and I _needed_ to update because "December 1st, I'm in a foreign state" is the first line of Ho Ho Hopefully. So, it only made sense that I wrote the chapter tonight and get it posted for you guys. Hope you like it!

* * *

" _We travel because we need to, because distance and difference are the secret tonic of creativity. When we get home, home is still the same. But something in our mind has been changed, and that changes everything."_

Jonah Lehrer

"Did you see that?" Jace whispered, and was instantly followed with a forceful punch in the arm. He opened his mouth and, even though a scream didn't come out, Clary smiled in her achievement to cause him physical pain.

Simon made a face. "That's gonna bruise. That'll definitely bruise."

"Are we allowed to be here?" Isabelle asked as they walked down the Oak Alley plantation lined with trees. "Isn't this private property? Don't we need to be taking a tour to do this?"

"Or will we be followed by a spirit for stepping on their property?" Jace added, and he was met with another blow to the same spot in his arm. Now _that_ made him scream.

Isabelle pinched his other arm and he jumped back, away from both of them. "Stop screaming like a tortured woman. You might be calling spirits with your yells."

"Spirits, or the owners of this place," Simon mumbled.

"I hate you all," Clary muttered, grabbing Simon's left arm, ready to pinch if she got scared. He scrunched his nose, bracing himself for any pain she would inflict. Clary looked up. "It's a beautiful plantation...it would be even more beautiful if I didn't know it was haunted." She looked down at the tree trunks. "The trees have faces. Like they're all watching us."

Isabelle groaned. "Jace, are you satisfied? Can we leave?"

"Fine. Clarissa is ruining the experience anyway, with all her fear and her—"

The three froze when Jace ran past them so quickly that air gushed, and they watched him in confusion.

Simon turned around and walked towards the branch that fell to the ground, probably hitting Jace on the way down. He looked down at Clary, and then Isabelle. "A branch. He's running from a branch."

"Let's just tell him it was a ghost so he'll have some lame story to tell," Clary said, shrugging.

Isabelle rolled her eyes. "Let's go."

* * *

After they got to the car, where Jace was already waiting for them with crossed arms, refusing to acknowledge what had just happened, Isabelle got ready for her part of the drive while Simon set up everything for her in the passenger seat.

Jace and Clary arranged their stuff between them, leaned against the doors.

"Get some sleep," Isabelle instructed. "You two got no sleep last night." She turned to face them. "I _know_."

Feeling a little panicked, Clary looked at Jace, who did the same to her. Her heart raced at the thought that she had just publicly acknowledge their possible new nightly routine.

She turned forward. "Jace probably freaked you out with ghost stories, and I have no idea why you stayed out there, Clarissa. It's the insomniac in you."

Clary audibly sighed in relief, and then relaxed in her seat.

"Get some sleep," Simon reiterated. "We'll get to Austin, Texas in time for dinner, and then you two will split up the drive to Santa Fe." He glanced at Clary. "It's 10 hours, so I mean it." Clary closed her eyes, and then peeked with her right a little. Simon glared. "I mean it."

With that, Clary grabbed a blanket, and Jace side-eyed her as she did, and she opened it, hitting him in the face while she did so. He glared at her while she grinned and made herself comfortable.

She had to admit that she was definitely feeling the lack of sleep from the night before. With only a short nap since they left New Jersey, and a few hours of sleep since they were up on a balcony looking down below, she was finally giving in to the much needed rest she was going to get for the next 7 hours.

She closed her eyes, focusing on quieting her mind from all the questions she had about Jace. Someone she almost never had questions about. Not ones that she ignored, or willed away, at least.

What did he mean the night before when he said he was sorry that he acted like he didn't care? Shit, she didn't even know what she meant when she told him she was sorry for treating him like everyone else. But somehow she knew what he meant without putting the words together, just like he did with her.

She couldn't describe it. It might have been the most frustrating and magical thing about it all. About them. She slowly started to hate it less and accept it more. She slowly started to enjoy what they were.

The part that freaked her out was that they were on road for two days and it happened so quickly. She knew a part of it was that they knew each other for so long—even if they never bothered to get to really know each other. It was as if everything was new and familiar with them all at the same time.

 _December first, I'm in a foreign state_

Clary's eyes snapped open, and they met with Jace's wide eyes.

"Are you—"

"No," he responded curtly, and she pursed her lips.

"Trying to get yourself to fall asleep?"

"No."

"It's alright, you can hum it."

"No."

Clary shrugged. "Fine, don't sleep. But we're splitting up that 10 hour shift, so I suggest you hum away, Jace Wayland."

Jace rolled his eyes and closed them. Clary did the same. And she smiled to herself when she could hear him continuing.

 _I'm running late, I'm all alone_

 _Wishing I was home with you, baby_

 _She's got a way of making things okay_

 _When she's not around, when she's not around_

 _I'm going crazy_

And, just the way the song worked for Jace, Clary fell right to sleep.

* * *

"Don't touch it," Clary said sharply, and Jace's hand hovered over her iPod. "I'm driving, so it's my choice."

Jace gave her a look. "It's _your_ iPod that we always use; it's _always_ your choice."

She scoffed. "I don't know why you're saying _always_ like _always_ doesn't mean one night of driving."

"Well, it's a possible habit I would like to break."

"Too damn bad." She slapped his hand away. "Music choice is mine, blondie."

Jace leaned back. "Blondie. What an insulting nickname. Using the color of my hair."

Clary rolled her eyes at his ridiculousness and then looked into the rearview mirror. Isabelle and Simon were sound asleep, and all that was left was her, Jace, the night that approached quickly, and the two iced coffees they bought themselves, since it took them an hour to even speak after sleeping the entire drive.

"They fall asleep so fast," she observed.

"Yeah, almost as fast as you did," Jace mumbled, looking out the window. "I didn't even get to the chorus before you were snoring away."

Clary shrugged. "I can admit that the song lulls me." She glanced at him. "Can you?"

He gritted his teeth and answered, "I guess."

She faced forward. "Such refusal, but I'll take it as a yes."

"It still doesn't justify a Christmas song being played at the end of August."

Her eyes narrowed. "Hand me iPod, would you? I'd like to play it so your ass would just go to sleep and shut up."

"Ouch, Fray." Jace put a hand over his heart, an action he did often, which Clary had usually hated—and, apparently, still did. "Plus, I don't wanna sleep. We'd miss a night of conversation."

Clary became agonizingly aware of the way her heart fluttered when he said it, much like it did whenever he said things just as smooth. She promised herself then that she would never show it. It would make her just like the other girls in their high school that fawned over him.

"Why are you really coming on this trip?" she asked, and he looked over at her in surprise.

"Jumping right in," he looked down at his hands. "I appreciate that." He took a moment and then leaned his head back. "I really miss Alec. And Isabelle, too." He narrowed his eyes a little, and Clary kept reminding herself to look back at the road and not to blatantly stare at him. "Since he left, we haven't spent too much time together, and I guess it was because Alec was our glue." He looked over at her. "But Isabelle and I still act the same, which is good." He looked forward into the darkness and the stars that loomed above them. "And I wanted to get out of there. To just go somewhere that wasn't there." He gave a laugh. "I mean, even though I'll be going somewhere out of state for college. I guess I just need to be—"

"Free?"

She looked over at him when he turned to her. "Yeah."

"Or at least feel it," she added. He continued to stare, and she wanted to take it as him waiting for her answer. "The same, I guess. Except the Alec. Even though I do miss Alec. And I'll be missing Isabelle. She's the main part of this trip, really." She glanced at the rear view mirror and saw Isabelle and Simon starting to lean towards one another in the back. "I want to thank you for coming, actually."

Jace raised an eyebrow at her. "I thought you hated that I hijacked your trip."

"I did." She smiled. "But then it turned into Simon coming, and I needed time with him, too." She shrugged. "So, thanks."

Jace inclined his head, and through the shadows, she could see that he was grinning. "You're welcome, I guess." He turned his head to her. "That's it?"

"I had an odd year," she whispered. "I felt guilty most of it, and lost along with that. I needed to get out. I needed to do something to get my head back to the right place." She gulped and then looked over, making immediate eye contact with him. "A cross-country road trip with my best friend while night driving seemed to be the right move. And it isn't to run away—at least, not really. It's just kind of to get a little—"

"Perspective."

"Yeah."

He nodded, but didn't say anything. She loved that he knew he didn't need anything to say. The way he looked back at her was enough. She stared at his face lit up with the illumination of passing street lights. And she knew he understood. Just the way he understood everything.

After a few moments, they pulled their eyes away from one another, and Jace reached for her iPod.

"Alright, hogger-of-the-music, what did you wanna listen to?"

* * *

 **A/N:** Happy Ho Ho Hopefully day  & happy 1st of December. I hope you guys are all enjoying your holidays so far :) The spirit in my household is strong and we ended up with two trees this year—a real one, and a fake one—and I've been loving it so much.

I hope you guys are enjoying the way Jace and Clary slowly showing each other more and more about themselves in this chapter. **Let me know what you think! Reviews & feedback, pleasee.**

* * *

 **Infinite thank you's to those who have reviewed, favorited, and alerted this story. And thank you to anyone reading along with it.** Your response gives this story life.

 _HUGE_ shout out to **rippingbutterflywings**! She dealt with my wanting to get this chapter out on this day and beta'ed through it so quickly. Sincerely, massive shout to you, my dear. I've been hugging you from here since Saturday and been too gigil for you. Your asshole aunt has so much love for ya, MS Clary. Thank you, thank you, thank you for dealing with my last minute beta needs.

Shout out to **ClaceAndPeeniss4eva, Guest, Nlresda123, I'm A Writing Dreamer, Guest, oesteffel, Ocean Terra, shortcomings, Jling, bookaddict223, Guest, bookobsessedpooj, Caitielynn09, Bubblegum234,** and **brightdarknessx**! Ya guys make me smile, always. I love hearing your thoughts about this story. Thank you for your reviews. I will be responding to them soon :)

Shout out to **For Tiffany** and **MLC**. Essited to be togetha soon.

 **Guest** : You're beautiful for this review. Thank you for leaving it! And same here, my dear. Same here.

 **Guest** : Thank you for your review! So glad you loved that ending, definitely got the feels from writing it :)

 **Guest** : Loving that you're enjoying the story. Thank you for your review!

 **Caitielynn09** : Thank you for your review! I appreciate it so much. I tried to PM you after I got your review but was not able to, and I changed the last name right away. Hope you're enjoying the story so far :)


	8. The Best by Far Is You

**A/N:** Halloo, I hope you guys have been doing alright. This chapter, like all these Winter chapters felt like magic, so I hope you like it. There's one song in this chapter and it's **Cecelia And The Satellite (Canyons Version)** by **Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness**. Absolutely love the song and I feel like it fits well into the feel of the story, so listen along if you can! Another AN at the bottomm.

* * *

" _Go all the way with it. Do not back off. For once, go all the goddamn way with what matters."_

 _Ernest Hemingway, The Complete Short Stories_

Jace's forehead creased slightly when he heard someone whispering Clary's name. Only he didn't feel annoyed in the same way he did whenever she somehow made her way into his dreams the past couple times he fell asleep. He almost felt comforted by it this time. The comfort ended once Isabelle screamed _enemies_ and he jumped up.

He could see her smirking in the rearview mirror, and his eyes burned behind his glare.

"Actually, not so much enemies anymore from what I see," she said, and Jace turned to his right to see Clary's head on his shoulder. _Where was the barrier she put up between them? How long had they been like that? How could she not wake up from Isabelle's loud ass talking?_ And, as if she heard him, Clary's head lifted quick enough to hit him in his right cheek bone. He flew back, grabbing his face, and he could hear Simon give a laugh.

"Still enemies. It was like shrapnel."

Jace opened his eye slightly to see Simon turn forward with a grin on his face and Isabelle in a fit of giggles. He turned his attention to Clary and yelled, "Clarissa!"

* * *

Jace leaned back on his chair and looked around the BBQ restaurant they were stopping at for dinner. He glared slightly at Clary, who never apologized for essentially punching him in the face. She rolled her eyes at him and looked away. He turned to his right dramatically and made immediate eye contact with a girl across the restaurant, who sat with her family by the wall. Her eyes lowered, and Jace almost raised an eyebrow at her brash flirting. But, instead, he winked back and felt like that it was enough, since she looked pleased with that. He turned forward and Clary had an eyebrow raised.

"Are you sure you should be doing that?"

He crossed his arms. "Why? Are you jealous?"

He almost sighed when her face didn't change. She never reacted to his flirting. " _I_ don't care. But Kaelie definitely would."

Jace smirked and then stared out the restaurant window. "Well, it's none of your business."

Clary leaned forward now, and he definitely could see that she was reacting. "I knew you were a jerk, but I didn't realize you were a complete jackass."

Jace genuinely glared a little. "I'm not a jackass." He watched her shoulders relax just a bit. "We broke up."

Clary pursed her lips and then laughed loudly. He raised an eyebrow at her in response.

"Don't lie."

"I'm not. We broke up last year." He put up two fingers and saluted. "Scout's honor."

She sat up and cleared her throat. "Oh. I thought you were kidding. I'm sorry."

Jace gave a small shrug. "Us making out in hallways and not acting broken up didn't really show anyone that we were, so, it's okay."

Clary smiled a little, looking down. "Yeah, it was all that." She cleared her throat and whispered, "When did it happen?"

Jace glanced at her for a second, not sure if he was ready to see her reaction. "Around the same time you and Sebastian broke up last year."

His eyes stared at his shoes the moment her eyes found the ground. "Oh." They were quiet for a moment, and Jace couldn't help but hope that she would speak before Simon and Isabelle came back from the bathroom. "But...why?"

Refusing to make eye contact, he told her, "Because it made sense." He looked up now. "The reason you broke up, it made sense. The distance, the wanting to live, the not having to worry about attachments. It made sense."

She smiled sadly and made eye contact with him for a second that felt like it happened in slow motion. "Yeah. I guess."

Jace opened his mouth, but immediately closed it when he spotted Simon and Isabelle walking over to them. He glanced at Clary, trying to gauge how she was, but when she finally looked up, it was to turn around.

"Coming out of the bathroom at the same time. That seems dirty," Clary said as they sat down.

Isabelle made a face. "That sounds like something Jace would say. You two have been spending too much time with each other."

Very slightly, Jace turned his head and looked at Clary from the side of his eyes. She wasn't looking back at him.

* * *

They didn't speak once after dinner. Not a word while they got ice cream and walked around the river. But she seemed fine—just not with him. Jace knew that Clary never spoke about Sebastian. Before getting to know her, Jace firmly believed that Clary was relishing in the attention Sebastian used to give her and she felt bad and decided to date him. He believed that was it. That there wasn't much more than what was on the surface. But, knowing Clary now, Jace knew that it was impossible for Clary to invest her time with Sebastian and walk away from him without caring about him. And her silence towards him confirmed that.

So he kept his distance from her, unsure when she would be ready to talk to him again. He wondered if he overstepped their boundaries of late night talks and vague mentions of the past. He hoped he didn't, because he was completely at lost as to what he would do on this trip. He hoped he didn't, because the sinking feeling in his stomach led him to believe that not talking to her nightly would leave his world a little darker. It would leave him a little lost. And knowing that alone made him realize he did not want to mess this up. Ever. Whatever _this_ was.

Once they got into the car, Clary sitting in the driver's seat to take her shift, he sat in a car filled with only music and no words spoken. Like they always did, Isabelle and Simon fell asleep quickly, and the two looked ahead to the familiar view they'd had in that car for the past couple nights.

The sun setting into darkness. The array of colors that turned into two slivers of dark blue and black. The open road. The cars that became less and less. The music surrounding them. The only things missing that night were the random confessions and sense of surprise and familiarity when they said something about themselves. Like they were surprised to hear that about one another, but in a way, not at all. As if that thing they said about themselves makes sense, even though they never made sense to each other at home.

Sitting in what was becoming his favorite comfort zone, Jace knew the unsettling feeling at the pit of stomach was due to one fact that he realized that day.

He may have been with Kaelie for four years of high school, but in those four years he never felt as he did with Clary the past couple days. And he couldn't help but feel a little crippled by the fact that maybe it had gone as quickly as it happened. And just as easily as he felt alive with her, he felt hollow with the thought that _it_ could be gone.

He always wanted to escape, to be free. At least to feel it. But here, he felt infinite, and he didn't feel the need to get away from anything. Not the freedom, or the presence of the girl beside him. They might have been in the middle of nowhere, but he felt free and alive, and like he was _okay._

At least he did before he screwed it up.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, making him wonder if he just said those words out loud.

"No, I'm sorry," he responded, and he caught her hook her bottom up with her teeth.

"No, don't apologize. You didn't say anything wrong. It's just with any mention of Sebastian, I tend to...close off."

Jace couldn't help but look over at the sound of her voice. "You didn't do anything wrong."

She looked over at him now. Alarmed. Caught off guard. A reaction that he had never seen from her. A reaction that wasn't thought over or careful.

"You didn't," he mumbled. "I just want you to know."

He saw her gulp and turn forward, and he closed his eyes, because he was in for another round of silence. So he focused on the music, ready to wait for her to talk to him again. He focused on the piano that seemed to echo in her car.

 _I lock myself in a hotel room_

 _Been waiting all night for the walls to move_

 _I've loved some girls that I barely knew_

 _I've made some friends, and I've lost some too_

 _Crashed my car, I was 17_

 _My mother in the seat riding next to me_

 _The things I've learned from a broken mirror_

 _How a face can change when a heart knows fear_

 _Through all the things my eyes have seen_

 _The best by far is you_

Jace's eyes snapped open, and he could hear Clary chuckle quietly.

"What?" he asked, grinning, because he could hear that she was okay again.

"I thought you fell asleep."

Jace shrugged. "I almost did."

Clary nodded. "Duly noted for when I'm trying to get you to shut up and fall asleep."

He shook his head and rolled his eyes.

She caught his glance and smiled slightly. Something she would have never done if he never got a chance to know her during this trip. And, with his heart beating quicker by the second, he smiled back.

"I wish I could've walked you to class," he blurted.

She laughed, her head tilting back, and looked at him. " _What_? Why?" She shook her head, looking like she expecting a usual pervy answer from him.

"Because it would've made the days better."

Slowly, her eyes softened, and her eyebrows furrowed slightly. "Yeah." She gave a little nod and turned back to the road. "That would've been nice."

* * *

 **A/N:** These two. I _love_ them. So much love for the love this story gets, any love for any of my stories, really. I'm very aware that that sentence is probably confusing but I'll leave it there anyway, lol.

As a note, I'll be updating _pretty_ soon because the next chapter is already written and ready to beta'ed. And I'll be updating the 8tracks playlist after that is posted, too :)

Hope this chapter gave you the feels and felt like magic. **Let me know what you thought, please leave some reviews & feedback!**

* * *

 **THANK YOU, thank you, thank you to those who reviewed, favorited and alerted this story!** Thank you to anyone who caught up with it and still reading along. You guys are all amazing, you make that 'thank you' in caps needed.

Shout out to the awesome **rippingbutterflywings** for beta'ing this chapter and loving this Jace as much as I do, and just feeling the magic along with me. Thank you dear MS Clary and please, please feel better!

Shout out to **MLC** and **Tiffany Jude** for being the mains that keep me alright. The underlined lines I've got in _Norwegian Wood_ are only for us three.

Shout out to **I'm A Writing Dreamer, Guest, bookaddict223, crazyweirdunique, Caitielynn09, Lava, Guest, brightdarknessx, Nephilimdauntless,** and **insolitasum**! **Thank you so much for the story love.** Your reviews always make me smile, and I love hearing what you guys think. Lovely, each of ya. I'll be replying to your reviews tonight!

 **Guest:** Thank you for your review! I love writing them getting to know more about each other and just being open, I'm glad you like it too :)

 **Lava:** Thank you for the review! I hope you like this update and happy to hear you can relate!

 **Guest:** Thank you for your review! I definitely liked writing that part because the whole scene was too funny, thank you for mentioning it :)


	9. The Years of Hope, The Months of Rain

**A/N:** Love the love for this story. And love that you guys got this story to up to 100 reviews. Thank you so much for it, you're all lovely.

The songs used in this story is **Maps For The Getaway (Canyon version) - Andrew McMahon In the Wilderness** and Cecilia and The Satellite (Canyons Version) makes a reprise in here.

 _Hope you guys like the chapter!_ AN at the bottom, as always.

* * *

The hours between 12am and 6am

have a funny habit of making you feel

like you're either on top of the world, or under it.

Beau Taplin || _the hours between._

 _Lights that used to blind us, somehow they will guide us through the night_.

While mouthing the lyrics, Clary's eyes were heavily lidded, fighting off the sleep she was refusing to succumb to. She had her head leaned back on the passenger seat since she couldn't reach the headrest and was slouching down so much that her knees were against the dashboard.

 _Through all the autopilot years_

 _The tears of joy, the face of fear_

"You need to sleep," a voice cut through the music.

She smiled slightly and turned to look over at Jace. "Never."

He shook his head. "That sounds very unhealthy and like something Isabelle would kill me for." He looked over at her, probably seeing how deep her eye bags had become. "Clary, come on. I slept."

"For an hour. And you woke up pretending that you didn't doze off."

He sighed and their comfortable silence began again.

She closed her eyes again and continued to listen. Her eyebrows were furrowed as she mouthed along to the next couple lines.

 _The years of hope, the months of rain_

 _Now that we're outside it, I guess we survived it after all_

Her eyes fluttered open and she fought the urge to cry. Not because she was sad, or that she missed anything, but because the song felt _triumphant._ In that moment, driving in the darkness through Texas, she felt like some part of her had made it. Like a younger version of herself yearned for the way she felt at that very moment.

She looked over and made eye contact with Jace. His eyes softened and they smiled a little at each other before looking away.

She never thought she would feel at peace next to Jace Wayland. She never could've even imagined it. But Clary never felt as at ease than she did with him. She had to admit it to herself that as much as he infuriated her sometimes, he made her feel the complete opposite in the moments when it felt like they were the only ones awake in the world. A notion she knew was ridiculous and silly, but it was a feeling she liked to pretend was true.

She sunk deeper into the seat when she whispered, "this song reminds me of my mom."

Jace didn't reply right away but when he did, he murmured, "I get that."

And even though it was such a short, and simple answer, she wasn't annoyed at his lack of response. She wasn't annoyed that he didn't have anything to add. It just what it was. Something they seemed to be. They just were what they were. And she knew they were starting not to care about the worries or thoughts that held them back days ago. Hell, a couple hours ago.

Once the song ended, she grinned when it went back to "Cecilia and The Satellite."

"Best playlist ever," she whispered and he laughed lightly.

"Agreed."

After Jace heard the song, and Clary listened to her favorite from the album, he asked to listen to it again. And again. And again. So she decided to make a playlist with solely those two songs, naming the title _11PM Through Texas_. It was 2AM, and they hadn't gotten tired of it at all.

They sang the same parts. Played the same piano keys in the air. Jace tapping his fingers against the steering wheel when he switched with Clary for his shift. And they never got sick of it. It felt like they were hearing it the first time all over again, and that was enough for Clary to remember the night by.

She also had the fact that he believed that she didn't do anything wrong when it came to Sebastian. As if he knew how much she blamed for herself for the inability to be _in_ love with him. It was as if he understood that she tried. And with that he was telling her that by trying, with all you could, it was enough.

Also, that Jace told her he would walk her to class when they were in school. And as mundane, and silly, and _high school_ it sounded—it sounded like a nice thought. Because it meant they would've had a moment of every day with one another. And maybe it would've been like they were now.

Clary's smile fell at the thought that the time had passed for them to do that. That they wouldn't have a chance to do that when they _could_ have had a chance. She shifted uncomfortably and hugged her legs. She looked over at Jace to see him mouth along specific lines like she was with _Maps For The Getaway._

"Favorite line?" she asked, and he narrowed his eyes in thought.

"I can't choose _one_ ," he responded with a laugh. "But, um, the end of the first verse. _How a face could change when a heart knows fear_ and _the best by far is you_." He looked over at her and she could tell he was uncomfortable, that he was feeling vulnerable. "And the part with the satellite and the sky."

And in her mind, she applauded him for being brave. Being brave enough to tell her what lines mattered. And then it clicked in her mind what else the chorus could mean to him.

 _Don't be afraid Cecilia_

 _I'm the satellite_

 _And you're the sky_

Her eyes got wide and she whispered, "Cecilia."

He smirked, but she could see it in his eyes.

"Your mom's name was Celine," she continued.

He gave a nod. "And Cecilia in a song will be as close as I get, right?" He glanced at her. "So I guess my favorite reminds me of my mom, too."

She glanced down for a moment and back up to smile sadly at him. She faced forward.

"I really like the _for all the places I have been, I'm no place without you_ line," he shared.

"Me too," she whispered so low she wasn't sure he heard.

"When my mom passed away, all my dad wanted to do was travel. He just wanted to keep moving. We would be in Italy one day and he'd wake me up and say he booked a flight to London or something, and we would get up and go." Clary stared at him. Blatantly. And she didn't care if he was going to see her, and she didn't care if he was going to think anything of it. Because she had never seen Jace Wayland be so brave. Not against a team he was playing in school. Not when he gave a speech in class. Never. "I guess he was trying to run away from it all. Until one day, we came home because he realized he couldn't."

"Hm," she made the noise and she looked over, ready to see a reaction. "Us, too."

He looked over at her, surprised and a little amused at the fate of it.

"You did?"

"Yeah," she said, with one strong nod. "Only we didn't travel European countries." She gave a laugh and he rolled his eyes but looked amused. "After my dad left us, we just did these road trips. My mom would open my door and ask if I wanted to go for a drive. I never actually knew where we were going, but I would just grab my headphones and get in her car, one that she was crazy to have in the city in the first place, and we would just go. Sometimes we'd come back home, and sometimes we wouldn't. And we didn't talk, we didn't really need to. She had to get away, and I wanted to go with her. That's all it was."

Jace looked at her and genuinely smiled at her. "That sounds nice."

"So does yours."

He shrugged a little. "It wasn't as nice as yours." With that, she didn't reply, and turned her body to look outside the window. "Runaway parents."

"Runaway kids," she responded, looking over her shoulder. He smirked and shot her a glance.

Clary looked back out the window and they were silent for hours, reveling in their playlist. Surprised when the extreme darkness before dawn came, Clary looked forward and settled into her seat. She watched as the darkness of the sky began to fade into a dark blue, and that began to turn into the colors of a sunrise that seemed to indicate that another night of being what they were had passed. She looked over at him, and it hit her with clarity that every night had been different, and as scary and surprising it was to get close to Jace, it was something she knew with a rare confidence that _this_ would be important. That this was one of those moments when she knew something had shifted. And in a rare act, even though she was afraid of apprehensiveness of it all, she wasn't going to stop.

At least until the sun illuminated their surroundings, and all her worries surfaced along with it. As they seemed to do with every sunrise.

* * *

Without words, Jace threw Clary's light sweater at her over the car and she caught it. He turned around and walked with Isabelle into the gas station, and Clary pulled her sweater over her head. She was met with Simon staring at her, standing awfully close and she screamed once, and then closed her eyes.

"What the hell was that?" she asked and opened her eyes. "Why are you so close and _why_ are you staring at me like that?" She put a hand out. "Don't tell me this is gonna be some bizarre best friend turned into first love kind of confession." Her smile fell slowly when his face didn't change. "Simon…"

He raised an eyebrow. "What is going on with you and Jace?"

Clary froze. "What are you talking about?" She fished for her debit card in her back pocket and started opening the gas cap. All while trying not to show him that she was physically shaking a little from her nervousness.

"You two have gone past civil and are really...chummy."

"Chummy," Clary mocked. "We're just getting along. We have to. We're driving partners, remember?"

"Driving partners. Sure."

Clary looked up at the sky and closed her eyes to get herself together. Telling herself quickly _you are just learning to be friends. Good friends. Okay,_ really _good friends_. She turned around after the fueling began. She leaned against her car and crossed her arms. "What about you, hmm? You and Isabelle. Now, _that_ is downright chummy."

Simon pointed. "Changing subjects to deflect the question. Sneaky but I'll take it because holy _shit_ , is this not a dream come true?"

Clary nodded. "Yeah, for you, definitely."

"Isabelle Lightwood is amazing."

Clary chuckled. "I know, she's my best friend."

"Your _best_ friend—"

"Simon," Clary warned and turned around.

"I'm serious about Jace though. You two seem to…"

She turned towards him.

"Connect." He shrugged and smiled a little. "You two connect." Clary didn't reply and Simon mumbled to himself as he got into the car, "I never thought I'd see the day. I also never saw myself actually not minding the company of Jace Wayland."

Clary tightened the gas gasket while he pulled his door closed and she whispered, "Me either."

"Me either what?" Clary jumped from Jace's voice and he raised an eyebrow at her. "Weirdo."

He handed her an iced coffee, which she snatched from him and he grumbled something with a curse word as he walked around her and to the driver's seat.

Clary took a deep breath and exhaled, looking up at the sky.

* * *

"What the hell are we gonna do in Roswell?" Jace asked as he drove through the streets towards Roswell's main road.

"You wanna see a lame ass haunted plantation but not alien stuff?" Clary asked raising an eyebrow. "You're so lame."

"You're the one who was _so_ afraid of those haunted plantations," he shot back.

"Yeah, but I'm not the one who ran away from a branch."

Jace pressed on the brakes and they all flew forward a little. "A _branch_?"

"Clarissa!" Isabelle scolded. "We were gonna let him have it."

"Obnoxious boys shouldn't have anything," Clary replied matter-of-factly.

"It was _not_ a branch. It was a spirit. A _very_ dangerous spirit," Jace said and finally started driving when someone honked at him.

"Well, it wasn't and—"

"Enough flirting, please. I'm starving and I'm hoping Maria from _Roswell_ will be in that diner right there." Simon pointed. Clary turned around and stared at him blankly. "A boy can dream, Clarissa." He shrugged. "Maybe your Max Evans is in there." He leaned forward. "Or do you like misunderstood, jerk Michael now?" Simon raised his eyebrows and Clary's eyes got wide.

"Wait, what?" Isabelle asked, looking away from the window and between the two of them.

"Nothing, Simon's just being dumb. Anyway, he always loved _Isabelle_."

Clary held back a laugh when Simon's eyes got so wide she thought he was going to charge at her from the back seat.

"Wait, what?" Jace looked over at her and Clary shrugged.

"You know, Isabelle from _Roswell_."

He looked in the rearview mirror. "No, I don't know. I was out having a life when you two nerds were being lame at home."

Clary winked at Simon and turned around, facing forward in her seat.

Once they got out of the car, Simon whispered furiously in her ear, "Too far! You went too far."

She pointed a finger at him while they trailed behind Isabelle and Jace. "Do not mess with me, Lewis. Do _not_ mess with me."

He glared. "Fine."

" _Fine_."

Clary stopped abruptly as Simon walked away from her like a petulant child throwing a tantrum. She turned around and looked at the alien memorabilia, wondering to herself how she got to this point. Did she ever imagine that she would take a road trip with her best friends and Jace Wayland across the country? She took a deep breath when she realized that with every passing night, she could consider that he belonged in that car. In that "best friend" category. She sure as hell knew that Simon _was_ right. They did connect.

Her shoulders jumped when someone lightly put a hand on them. She spun around and Jace looked genuinely concerned. A look she didn't usually see in the light of day.

"Are you okay?" he asked. "You've been jumpy all morning."

With no witty response in mind, Clary simply nodded and Jace did one back, analyzing her face now. He stood beside her, putting his hand on the small of her back and led her inside. "Come on, maybe the person inside of you that inhales food like a monster needs some right now."

And with that, she smiled and reached over to smack his arm.

* * *

 **A/N:** I love them. I'm probably going to be saying that after every chapter and I hope you guys don't mind. And that you guys feel the same way. What did you guys think? Let me know what parts you liked, or any of that. **Reviews & feedback, please!**

* * *

Thank you again for getting this story this many reviews. I love them, and I smile when I get those emails. **Thank you for the reviews, the favorites, and alerts!**

This chapter was actually unbeta'ed so please excuse any mistakes, it'll be replaced another day. Shout out to **rippingbutterflywings** who is going to kick ass at all the busy going on in her life right now. Hoping and believing in you, always.

Shout out to these three. **Tiffany Jude** , miss you miss you miss you. I know we're always sending each other everything good and peaceful. **MLC** , wish it was still lazy Sunday right now. And to my little B Davis, **amanda** , thanks for loving this along with me.

Shout out to **Nlresda123, insolitasum, Caitielynn09, I'm A Writing Dreamer, depper57, Guest, Jling, esteffel, BrunetteAngel12, bookaddict223, , shortcomings, crazyweirdunique** , and **brightdarknessx**! Alwaays love reading what you guys have to say. Thank you so much for the reviews! YOU guys are the ones getting those reviews in, and I'm always grateful. I'll be replying to your reviews soon :)

 **Guest:** Happy to read that you loved that ending! I definitely enjoyed writing it. Thank you for the review!


	10. 23

**A/N:** Hello! So I know I haven't been able to update in a couple months. I really planned on finishing and posting a DLF chapter but it has been weeks since I've written this Winter chapter and I've only gotten through a page or two in DLF :( I sincerely apologize. It's either my mindset is not okay enough to write or I'm busy when I do have time to write.

I'm really trying to get past this rut and just trying to write bit by bit. I _want_ to have that DLF chapter written up next. I'll be trying, my dears. I'd never give up on it, or on this story, or even _Words_ , which I will get back to after DLF is finished.

Anyway, back to this story! I just wanted to explain a little where I've been and to get this chapter out there.

The songs used in this chapter **Kill** and **23** by Jimmy Eat World.

I feel like this is a huge chapter for Jace in this story, so I hope you guys enjoy it! Another AN and shout outs at the end :)

* * *

" _She's sitting right in front of me, but at the same time she's a million miles away."_

After Dark, Haruki Murakami

"Clarissa," Jace hissed after she yet again flicked a sugar packet directly at his face. The pink packet zoomed passed him as he dodged it, and he looked over at the empty booth behind them where five packets were randomly placed. "Stop," he warned her with a stern look.

She narrowed her eyes and smiled very slightly. She flicked it, and it hit him in the eye. She snickered while he kept them closed for a few moments.

"Fine," he muttered and grabbed a handful of packets. "My turn."

With that Clary stopped smiling and made a goal with her hands. Jace full on grinned and flicked it directly at her face. She ducked to her right, and Jace's smile fell when it hit an elderly man in the back of the head. He didn't turn around, but Clary bit her bottom lip, trying to hold in a laugh.

"Jace," Isabelle warned him, her eyes glancing at him and the old man behind Clary. "Stop."

"You're evil," Jace told Clary, and pushed away all the sugar packets. Isabelle groaned as she put down her phone and started putting them away.

Clary looked over when Simon's phone clicked. "What are you doing?"

"Snapchatting you two idiots," he mumbled, and Clary shrugged, so Jace did too.

Clary grabbed the menu at the edge of table, against the wall, and turned it over. Jace picked up his own phone and joined in on Isabelle and Simon's social media silence.

"I want a shake," Clary whispered to herself.

"Which one? We can share," Jace told her absent-mindedly, and he could see Isabelle abruptly turn to face him.

"Hmm." Jace finally looked up at Isabelle with a raised eyebrow while Clary made noises to herself while making a decision. He mouthed _stop_ and Isabelle continued to stare at him, analyzing him.

"Neopolitan shake," Clary decided.

Jace faced forward immediately. "I'll get it."

In unison, Clary and Simon asked _what_ and turned to each other. Clary glared, and Simon stared at her blankly.

"What?" Jace asked, confused, and Isabelle stood up.

"I want one, too. Let's order at the counter," she demanded, and walked away before Jace even stood up.

He glanced at Simon and Clary one more time, who seemed to be talking telepathically, and turned away, stopping himself from telling them how weird he thought they were.

By the time he got to the counter, Isabelle had already ordered for them. She smiled at the waitress and then sat down, and motioned for him to sit on the stool beside her.

"What was that?"

Jace stared at her, waiting for her to say more.

"What was what?"

"That," Isabelle said, and tried to nonchalantly point at Clary.

"I don't know what's going on with those weirdos. They're _your_ friends." He extended an open palm at them, and Isabelle slapped it down. "Isabelle!"

She sat up straight. "You're sharing your shake with Clary."

Jace made a face. "And? She didn't even finish her meal, so I figured she wanted to share a shake."

"You never share food."

"I'm not exactly Joey Tribbiani, Isabelle. I can share food."

She glared, and the waitress placed the shakes in front of them. Jace reached for them, and she stopped him. "Jace," she whispered. "What's going on here?" Before he could respond, she made direct eye contact with him so he knew she was serious. "With Clary. What's going on with you and Clary?"

He settled into his seat now and slouched a little.

"Nothing," he responded simply.

"I'm serious."

"I can tell."

He saw her roll her eyes slightly in annoyance. "Jace."

Jace glanced at Clary and Simon, who were whispering to each other with an unneeded amount of talking with their hands. They looked back at him and froze. He shot them a glare and turned back to Isabelle.

"I don't...I don't know," he said, and Isabelle's head dropped.

"No, no, no, no."

"No as in you're angry at me?"

"No," she spoke, sounding exhausted.

"No as in what then, Isabelle? You think I'm a bad influence again?" He leaned towards her.

She scoffed. "No." She glanced over her shoulder. "You do know why Clary is on this trip, right?"

"Because you two want to be together before college."

She looked back at him. "Besides that." He stared right back at Isabelle. "You do know why. And I know she probably hasn't made it absolutely clear to you, but you know that she's healing, Jace. From Sebastian—from herself because of Sebastian."

"So, what? Having any ties to me is going to ruin that?"

"No, I just don't want her _depending_ on that," Isabelle explained.

"Well, maybe she needs something to push her a little." She froze and tilted her head a little bit. "I mean, not saying _this_ is anything to her, I don't know that, but…I don't know. Maybe it could be for me."

Isabelle's face seemed to soften once he muttered the last part of his sentence. "Is that why you came on this trip?" He shrugged. "I mean, you could fly to see Alec, but taking a road trip across the country is a different thing."

"Well, I needed something, Izzy."

"Is Clary that something?"

Jace smiled a little because now she was just snooping. She let out a laugh, knowing she had been caught. "I don't know."

She leaned back into her chair. "I've never seen you talk to each other without any berating and annoyance before this trip, but I think I knew the moment I did."

"Knew what?"

Isabelle grabbed the shakes and stepped off the stool. "That you'd be in trouble." Before Jace could walk past her, she stopped him and stared directly into his eyes as she whispered, "Be careful with one another."

* * *

Jace had no idea what he was getting himself into. And he wasn't sure if Clary Fray was a reason enough for him to start thinking about his actions before he did them. Even though something inside of him was screaming at him to take a moment to think about it. Even if feelings weren't something he could decide.

But Jace was never one to live with the question of what if and regret. He would always rather go for it and deal with the consequences later. It was his ability to be untethered and detached that always became the problem.

But nothing ever felt like this.

Jace glanced over at Clary, who was sitting on the right side of the back seat. Her head was leaned back and she had her legs crossed as she stared out the window.

Isabelle wasn't trying to get them to sleep like she usually did because she said they would be spending that night in Sante Fe. They would arrive in 10 hours, so they'd have enough time to have dinner once they got there. So, it resulted in the four them enjoying loud music, staring out their respective windows.

Since Simon was driving, he chose the _Futures_ album, which he oddly asked Clary if she was okay with, and Jace wasn't sure why. When she said it was fine, Simon made a playlist of it so he could shuffle the songs.

Jace was still trying to figure out why Simon asked for permission—Clary seemed to be enjoying it just fine. She sang along to the first two songs that played and seemed to really love when "Kill" came on. She was lightly drumming against her knees, nodding along and singing with her eyes closed.

He watched her intently as the bridge began, her hands tapping to every drum beat, her head swaying to the music.

 _So go on love_

 _Leave while there's still hope for escape_

 _Got to take what you can these days_

 _There's so much ahead_

 _So much regret_

While she sang along to a song that seemed to fit her, Jace wasn't sure what his attraction was to Clary.

Was it because she understood him? Was it because there was a certain darkness in her that mimicked the one inside of himself? Was it because she was lost? Was it because she was broken? Was it because he didn't want to be the only one who felt broken beyond repair? Did he want to save her, or did he want to feel the comfort he got because of her?

Jace cleared his throat and finally looked away, but did a double take when he could see Simon looking back at him through the rearview mirror. Simon immediately looked away, and Jace turned his head, trying to think nothing of it.

* * *

After the next song ended, Jace looked towards the front and saw Isabelle's head leaning to the side, giving away that she must've been asleep.

"Does she always fall asleep on you like this?" Jace asked, and he could see Simon smile.

Simon laughed a little and said, "No, not really. Just sometimes."

Jace shook his head but smiled. "Isabelle."

And immediately when the song changed, Simon's face fell, and he reached over to change the song.

"Can we keep it?" Clary whispered, almost impossible to be heard.

With that, Simon's hand retreated and he let the beginning instrumentals of "23" play, and Jace was immediately pulled back into a memory.

 _Jace craned his neck a little to look at what Clary was writing on her notebook, and he raised an eyebrow. They sat next to each other in this class, but they never talked. But he figured that, since he heard Sebastian and Clary broke up the night before, he should try._

" _23," he spoke, and she froze. "Nathan Scott?"_

 _And, slowly, she looked over and stared at him. He gulped a little, because it wasn't the best day to talk to Clary Fray, but he tried anyway._

 _He shrugged. "Are you a fan of Michael Jordan?"_

 _And, with that, she turned away, and he glared at the back of her head. He never planned on trying to say anything decent to her again._

 _After their class ended, Clary being the first one out of the door despite her sitting on the other side of the classroom, Jace walked his usual route to the stairwell where he met up with Kaelie._

 _He smirked as he approached her, but she didn't look amused._

" _Did you hear about your favorite girl?" she asked with a raised eyebrow._

 _Jace stood in front of her and immediately responded with, "Isabelle?"_

 _Kaelie smiled very slightly. Jace always knew that she hated that Isabelle was his favorite girl when she believed it should be her._

" _Not that one. Clary."_

 _Jace rolled his eyes. Kaelie liked to complain about that, too._

" _I don't know why you like to call her that. You know I barely talk to her. We're nothing. We're not even a 'we'."_

 _And she smiled slightly in reply. But not the same way she did whenever Jace referenced to Isabelle as his favorite girl. It was a sad one. And he knew she didn't believe him._

And then she broke up with him. Swiftly and simply. And he didn't fight her back on it too much. Which probably added to the finality of the decision.

But he realized, staring out into the miles of mountains, that maybe Kaelie saw him the clearest in some ways. All because he could see that there was something there with Clary.

And now, that moment in class made sense. The song playing made sense. The whole album made sense. And he looked over at the girl beside him and realized what Isabelle meant when she talked to him earlier.

That this trip was made to heal Clary. To heal from something that haunted and burdened her for the past year and a half. Maybe even more so if she felt the guilt of Sebastian's love for her. And, suddenly, he became afraid to go take an interest in her the way he always did. And it wasn't because he wanted to be careful for himself. He wanted to be careful for her.

He knew that she wasn't some broken little girl that wanted to be fixed. He realized now that she was trying to heal herself _for_ herself. And he had to be careful for her because of that. Not for any fragility he might instinctively want to protect in her. But because she deserved this trip as her chance.

He saw how Sebastian saw that in her. That, in his eyes, she was fragile. How Sebastian saw her as a Clary that he loved, rather than the Clary that she was. He saw how Sebastian wanted to be Clary's protector and to be the one to take care of her.

But Jace knew very well that she was capable of taking care of herself. And protecting herself. And being _herself_. Something he realized that Sebastian never let her do because of _his_ own version of her.

 _I won't always love what I'll never have_

 _I won't always live in my regrets_

 _You'll sit alone forever_

 _If you wait for the right time_

 _What are you hoping for?_

 _I'm here I'm now I'm ready_

 _Holding on tight_

 _Don't give away the end_

 _The one thing that stays mine_

Jace understood this all in a rush, but he understood it clearly.

And as much as this trip was meant to heal Clary, spending time with Clary was beginning to heal him. To help him _feel_ again. To help him feel alive.

And, with that, he stared out her window at the same scenery she looked at with her own eyes, feeling the weight of having to make a choice for him or one for her.

* * *

 **A/N:** Jace has my love. And I love writing how honest Jace and Clary are as people. I hope you guys like it. Let me know what you guys thought :) **Reviews & feedback, please!**

* * *

Thank you for the reviews for this story, favorites, and alerts! And thank you for just reading along, really. You're all lovely.

Shout out to **rippingbutterflywings** who beta'ed this chapter! You are wonderful and you know I send you my love and all my gigil feels for you  & Sam.

Shout out to **dear Tiffany**. We always try to explain how much our gem of a friendship is important to us but it'll never able enough. Saluting this Isabelle and Clary for us. Shout out to **MLC** and **B Amanda Davis** who are facetiming as I write this and saying things like "Daddy Daughter pimples!"

Shout out to **BrunetteAngel12, insolitasum, FloraSilverthrush, bestalex59aa, mollymullett, Jaceswife913, I'm A Writing Dreamer, depper57, Guest, Danir2001, Nlresda123, bookaddict223, 4everness, Bubblegum234, Soccerpup17, brightdarknessx,** and **Debra Williams**! Thank you, thank you, thank you. I appreciate you guys taking the time to let me know what you think. Forever trying to update for you. I'll be replying to your reviews tomorrow.

 **Guest:** Glad you loved it! Thank you for your review :)


	11. Tried and True Tribulations

**A/N:** Halloo, I'm in a bit of rush to get this posted so I apologize if I forget any usual AN stuff. But I hope you guys like the chapter, and the music. I definitely have love for this album. Another AN  & thank you's on the bottom!

The songs used in this chapter are:

 **Keep Going - The Revivalists**

 **Wish I Knew You - The Revivalists**

* * *

" _The truth is, I pretend to be a cynic, but I am really a dreamer who is terrified of wanting something she may never get."_

Joanna Hoffman

After an hour of playing board games at Rooftop Pizzeria, the group headed to their hotel to get rest for another day of leaving early and being on the road. Clary shot a glare at Jace while they walked side by side. Isabelle and Simon looked exhausted—not from playing, but from just listening to the two bicker and yell at each other. It was an hour full of various insults and insinuations being thrown at one another. Other than each other's last names, all they said to each other was "you're going down" or "you suck" or "you cheater" and muttering "fuck" whenever they lost.

"You two exhaust me," Isabelle mumbled with a sigh as the door beeped and she turned the handle to get inside. She threw her bag onto a bed, and Clary threw hers on the other one.

"I know," Simon agreed. "If I thought it was annoying to hear you two bicker, I was mistaken, because hearing you two in competition mode is _the_ worst. I mean, _the worst."_

He fell back on the bed, putting his arm over his eyes.

Isabelle sat down in front of the vanity mirror. "Seriously." She narrowed her eyes at both Jace and Clary. "Never bringing you two anywhere fun ever again. You ruin it."

"Well, Jace is a cheater—" Clary started, but Jace sat up from where he was laying down on the bed and immediately started to talk over her by saying, "No, she's just the rudest competitor I've ever seen." He turned his entire body as he said slowly, " _Ev-er_."

Simon put the palms of his hands against the eyes as he began to chant, "No, no, no."

Isabelle threw her arms out with her eyes clamped shut, her eyebrows furrowed, and yelled, "Enough!" She opened her eyes, and the look in them was enough to scare them into silence. "I don't want to hear it. Please stop." She put her hands together and began to beg. "Please, please, please."

Clary almost smiled with the sound of Isabelle saying "please" and Simon still continually saying "no." It was definitely something she wanted to remember to laugh at later on.

She turned to her left and reached out her hand. "Good game."

Jace's eyes narrowed before he slowly reached out his right hand, and they simultaneously gave each other one shake and let go. "Good game."

With that, Isabelle and Simon stopped, and then began to put their hands down.

Simon stared at the ceiling. "Such silence. Such peace."

Clary rolled her eyes and turned around, hearing the almost silent _not_ , and reached for the pillow, turned around, and smacked Jace in the face with it. Flying back, he was sent into a fit of laughs.

Isabelle groaned and then stood up as she started to take stuff out of her duffel. She threw a pair of sneakers at his face, and he started to calm down.

Simon gave him a look from the other bed. "Obviously you're going through sleep deprivation."

Jace sat up and turned to Clary. "Fine. Good game. You're interesting competition, Fray."

Clary rolled her eyes and turned around. She pulled out a bluetooth speaker from her bag, along with her iPod, and played The Revivalists' _Men Against Mountains_ album as the boys got up to follow Isabelle lead, too.

* * *

While Jace and Isabelle left the room to somehow get alcohol, Clary and Simon sat up in bed, both leaning against the headboard as they silently updated their social media for the day. They smiled to themselves when they watched the Snapchat stories that the four of them put up, and liked every single Instagram the others had posted.

"I wonder what people are thinking," Simon said absent-mindedly.

Clary glanced over. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, people from our highschool are going onto Instagram, Snapchat, and Twitter and are probably wondering _what hell is going on in the world_. You, me, Isabelle, and Jace together in New Mexico?" Clary looked down at her phone while his point sunk in. "You and Isabelle make sense. Everyone knew you two were going to go on a road trip. But me and Jace? You and Jace? Hell, me and Isabelle?" Simon gave a loud laugh. "None of _that_ makes sense."

"I didn't realize, I guess," Clary responded, softly. "But yeah. I mean, it looks crazy."

The silence between them _felt_ louder until Simon broke it.

"I'm not saying you and Jace don't make sense." Clary shook her head, even though that was exactly the thought that weighed heavy on her chest. "You two make a lot of sense. I'm just saying it might be what people think. Us, them." Simon sighed. "Fuck, I'm sorry. That made it sound worse."

"No, Simon." She looked at him. "That's just the truth."

Simon broke eye contact with her and then began shaking his own head. "No. It's not the truth. This is the truth. They don't know shit." He looked back up at her. "You and Jace make sense." He smiled. "In fact, it makes me feel dumb to not have seen it before."

Clary genuinely smiled back, but it quickly fell. "Is there?"

"Is there what?"

"A Clary and Jace."

Simon's eyes got wide. "I'm sorry, just hearing it come out of your mouth just sent me through another round of shock. It made me feel like I was in another universe." Clary stared at him, unamused. "I don't know, you tell me. I can't tell whether you two are genuinely annoyed at each other or flirting."

Clary laughed and put her hands over her eyes. "Honestly, I'm not sure either. I can't really tell what we are if we're not in silence together. Does that make sense?"

"Definitely. It's 'cause you have no choice in silence other than feel or hear what's going on between you and that other person."

She looked up at him in surprise. "You are alarmingly deep sometimes."

He side-eyed her. "Now it's my turn to be unamused."

She shook her head. "I don't know, Simon. I don't know what's going on."

He turned to her. "Do you like him?" He leaned down to make eye contact with her, since she was staring at the bed. "In all honesty. In all that _fuck, I am fucking scared_ honesty." She smiled a little at the way he described it.

"I...trust him."

Simon's head pulled back and his eyes lit up. "Shiiit."

Clary closed her eyes as she couldn't help but smile at his reaction. "Right, that's worse." She took a deep breath and opened her eyes to look back at him. "Well, yeah." He grinned back at her. "At least the way we connect in the car, I like the way we get each other. I like—"

"No, you like him. Not just a piece of him. Not just a moment of him. You just like him."

She gave a long sigh as her shoulders slumped a little. "Yeah."

He chuckled as she pushed him, and he teased, "You like Jace Wayland. Alert the press, because no one saw this coming. You were probably the last person to ever even have a crush on him."

She stared at the TV, pouting. "He just wasn't what I thought he was. I feel like I never really saw him. Never gave myself a chance to, I guess."

"I don't know why you wanted to only see him one way."

"You did, too."

"True. But you're a victim of being seen as one version of yourself, and you hate it."

She turned her head to him. "Ouch."

Simon slapped his hands against his face and his hands slid down. "I'm sorry. I keep lifting you up and then dragging you back down."

She laughed a little. "No, it's true. And I was just never willing to see who he really was."

Simon's eyebrows went up. "Actually, maybe you liked him this whole time."

Clary sighed deeply again. "Yeah, maybe."

Simon leaned forward and laughed loudly, almost screaming. "Ugh, honesty hour is killing me." He swatted her hands away when she tried to push him off the bed.

"Well, what about you? Do you love Isabelle the way you always thought you did?"

He sat up and looked offended. "I never loved Isabelle." Clary tilted her head like she didn't believe him. "I _lusted_ after Isabelle."

"Ugh, ew."

He chuckled. "I don't know. I guess I always knew how Isabelle was because of you but she's so much—"

"Better?"

"Yes! How is that possible?"

Clary shrugged. "She's Isabelle. Everyone's in love with her."

Simon sighed. "Man, this sucks."

"It really does."

He sat back up against the headboard. "You gonna tell her about Jace?"

Clary shook her head. "Nope. Nope, nope, nope. At least not yet." She looked like she was in pain. "She'll hate me for not telling her. But it's Jace! He's basically her brother."

Simon nodded."True." He paused. "She probably already knows. She has that weird 'I know everything, and I mean _everything'_ thing going on."

"Yeah, I'm sure she knows of your undying love for her," Clary retorted immediately, and Simon crossed his arms.

"Touché."

* * *

"How'd you guys get this?" Simon asked with a beer in hand.

Jace fell onto the left side of the bed that he shared with Isabelle and grabbed his beer. "Well, I used my fake ID. And Isabelle was Isabelle."

Clary grinned and leaned her head back to look at Isabelle, who decided she wanted to play with Clary's hair, and was wrapping it around a curling wand.

Isabelle rolled her eyes. "Boys. Useless without fake a ID."

Simon on the edge of the bed. "Should I take out the provisions I brought?"

"Provisions?" Jace asked looking over at Simon, and then at Clary's reflection in the mirror.

She smirked back at him and stopped when he didn't look away. He had been acting so strange at random times that she wasn't sure how to react to him. She gave up and looked at Isabelle's reflection in the mirror.

"Simon brought weed," Isabelle said nonchalantly.

"Whaaat." Jace sat up. "Why haven't we had any of it yet?"

"It's day four. Three?" Isabelle looked down at Clary, who shrugged in reply. "Anyway, we've got a lot of days left in this trip and no way to find any."

Jace raised an eyebrow. "What? Have we forgotten about Alec and Magnus in good ol' California?"

Isabelle froze, Clary's hair in between her fingers and looked up. "Right."

Jace clapped once. "Light it up, Simon, my boy."

"No, Simon, _my boy_ ," Isabelle mocked. "Don't." She made eye contact with Jace through the mirror. "You get easily twisted and I'd rather not listen to you complain about how you think no one—in the history of the world—has ever been more fucked up than you." She rolled her eyes.

"Well, daamn, Isabelle." Jace glared at her for exposing him.

Isabelle shrugged. "Tomorrow. We can have some tomorrow."

"When did you become such a mom?" Clary whispered.

Isabelle groaned. "Ugh, I hate it."

* * *

Once Isabelle and Simon finished their beers, and their body clock had them drifting to sleep by eleven, Clary and Jace went to the balcony to finish the leftover beers, and listen to the _Men Against Mountains_ album. They put it on the lowest volume but could still hear it playing between them. Singing along quietly, Clary closed her eyes while mouthing along the lyrics.

 _I've been fake and I've been free_

 _I've been you and I've been me_

 _But now I stand up tall for what I believe_

 _Against all odds I walked that trail of fear_

 _And tread on desperate leaves_

 _But no one's leaving just yet_

 _We all want that make believe_

 _Tried and true tribulations_

 _Of who I've come to be_

 _The less I know the more I learn_

 _How much love means to me_

She opened her eyes and caught Jace looking at her. He looked away so quickly that she found it odd.

She gulped as her stomach dropped a little. She looked to her right and took a long swig of her beer. In a rush, the anxiety of what Simon had said earlier began to loom over her.

Did Jace start to think it was crazy that they could possibly be something? Did he realize that this was just some connection while on the road? Did he not feel the same way when they were out of the quiet of the night?

Because she wasn't even sure of it herself. She wasn't sure what they were in the light of day. It was the reason she was so afraid for them to cross an imaginary line that seemed to be fragile. One they definitely couldn't return from.

She felt silly to even think she wasn't the same girl that Jace and Kaelie glared at when she passed by in the halls. She felt ridiculous—the same way she did when she felt she didn't fit in with Sebastian and his friends.

She was starting to mentally scold herself for thinking that things were different on this trip. It became alarmingly clear to her that this would essentially mean nothing when they were going to go to different colleges.

It pained her to know that "different colleges" was a reason she brought up when talking to Sebastian when they broke up. Now it was coming back to bite her in the ass.

Immediately, the pain seemed to settle within her. Because it made sense to her that a pain she inflicted towards someone would come back. Because she felt like she deserved it. Because it was only right the pain be returned.

Her shoulders jumped when Jace spoke. "Sorry, I'm out of it."

She looked over at him. "It's okay."

 _You shine like a star_

 _You know who you are_

 _You're everything beautiful_

 _She's hot, hot like the sun_

 _The loneliest one_

He stared at the parking lot beneath the balcony. She could see that he was battling something in his own mind. It was painted in his expression, and in the way he was gripping his beer, with the whites of knuckles poking through his skin.

 _I wish I knew you when I was young_

 _We could've got so high_

 _Now we're here it's been so long_

"I really want you to know that you aren't responsible for Sebastian's hurt."

And as if she was punched in the gut, Clary inhaled sharply. " _What_?"

"You aren't responsible for the way he feels." He looked up, making eye contact with her. "I know you hate to talk about it but—"

"I do. I hate it."

"Because you blame yourself?"

Her eyebrows furrowed. "Yes. I mean, obviously. And I should. I hurt him."

"But he wasn't seeing _you_."

Clary gulped as she looked down. "Jace."

"Sorry." She could hear the edge in his voice. "I shouldn't push the subject."

 _It's all inside you now_

 _It's everything beautiful_

 _But what are you running from?_

 _They got you on the run?_

With that, they were thrown into a silence because Clary couldn't respond. She didn't want to lie and say that it was fine because it didn't _feel_ fine. She hated talking about Sebastian—but for the first time, someone other than Isabelle and Simon, was telling her that it wasn't her fault. And maybe that's why she was starting to believe it—which only brought on another wave of guilt.

"Why would you say that?" she asked hesitantly. "That he wasn't seeing me?"

"Because _I_ see you. For what you are, I mean." He glanced at her. "Is that why you broke up? Because he only saw this version of you."

Clary shook her head slightly. "It was a part of it. But he didn't understand that. I don't think I even did until a while after." She lifted her head, her eyes looking up at the stars. "We broke up because he knew I wasn't completely there in the relationship, and he was leaving for college, and...it was just best."

"Do you regret it?"

Clary gulped and closed her eyes for a moment. "Is it wrong of me to say no?"

"No," Jace replied immediately. "I feel the same. Even though Kaelie broke up with me." He turned his attention to her rather than off into the distance. "It's better. For her. For him."

"For us," she added.

"Yeah." Clary shifted when he started to look for something in her expression. "So why do you beat yourself up over it?"

"What?"

"I mean, it was the best for him. I'm sure even he saw that—"

"I hurt him," Clary interrupted, her voice clear instead of a whisper.

He smiled sadly at her. "You can't control who you hurt. You can't control how someone feels." Clary looked away from him and down. "It just...it upsets me to see someone strong—"

"I'm not strong." Clary cursed at herself because with what they were discussing, she wasn't sure why she responded to that part of it. When she could've easily focused on the fact that he was making her feel like someone, other than the four main people in her life, believed in her. Definitely more than she believed in herself. "I'm not." She looked down. "At least I don't feel it." She gulped. "I feel weak. And more than a little broken. But that's okay."

 _I wish I knew you_

 _I wish I knew you_

 _Oh I wish I knew you when I was young_

And just like that, he took her left hand in his right, and laced their fingers together. He lifted up her hand and kissed the back of it. "You're not. You're strong."

Clary froze as he detached their hands immediately and opened the glass door. He didn't hesitate when he walked inside, and left her out in the dark, alone, with the music continuing to play in the silence he left behind.

* * *

 **A/N:** I'm not sure but I do think this is one of the longer chapters in this story. And I'm sure why I opened up with that because there was a huge Clace moment in this. For any DLF readers, I'm working on that next chapter, be patient with me. I hope you guys liked the chapter!

Let me know what you guys thought! With Simon & Clary admitting their feeling to one another, with Jace and Clary taking steps forward and then one (awkward) step back. **Reviews & feedback, please** :)

* * *

Thank youu for the reviews for this story. Thank you for the follows, alerts, and just reading along.

Shout out to **rippingbutterflywings**! Thank you dear MS Clary for beta'ing what you could! I know you're busy and living life (ship you two forever) and I hope you're enjoying :)

Shout out to **Tiffany Jude** for bringing these songs to the story. Forever pretending this is our adventure. Shout out **B Amanda Davis** for always being willing to talk about this story with me and not minding to read these early. Shout out to **MLC** for being a muse.

Shout out to **Nlresda123, cheshire15, BrunetteAngel12, insolitasum, I'm A Writing Dreamer, Bubblegum234, , crazyweirdunique, cams (MS Clary), casandra70, oesteffel, Allieanna, Guest, BlackHeron104, and JMDeaton**! **Thank you for your reviews, and taking the time to leave them. You guys are consistently lovely.** I'm gonna try replying to you guys tonight, but I'm going out of town tomorrow and will be preparing. If I don't get to you, I'll be replying early next week. Can't wait to read what you guys think of Clary and Jace :)

 **cams (MS Clary):** At first, I was wondering who "cams" was but I honestly knew it was you the moment you pointed out at Murakami. I dooo know your love with Winter. I appreciate it a lot, always. Thank you for your review, MS Clary. Sending you  & Sam happiness and flirty bickering.


	12. Skip The Charades

**A/N:** Helloo! Alright, so this is a huge chapter in the story and I won't keep it from you any longer. Another A/N and thank you's at the bottom!

The song used in this chapter is **Skip The Charades by Cold War Kids**. I really really love it, so please listen along! I've been daydreaming about using this song for this story for a while now.

* * *

" _You'll need coffee shops and sunsets and road trips. Airplanes and passports and new songs and old songs, but people more than anything else. You will need other people and you will need to be that other person to someone else, a living breathing screaming invitation to believe better things."_

Jamie Tworkowski

He didn't know why he did it. He didn't know why he bolted. And he definitely didn't know why he couldn't control himself when it came to Clary Fray. His plan was to keep some type of distance from her, so he wouldn't become more attached, and so she could focus on herself. But when he was sitting there—in the night, music playing between them—it felt wrong to not talk. It felt wrong to not ask. It was always easier for him to control himself in the light of day, but at night, when it felt like they were the only two awake, waiting for the sun to rise, he didn't feel comfortable doing anything else other than talking with her—than understanding her.

But his plan failed when he kissed the back of her hand. And then he left her in the dark with no explanation.

He went straight to bed, hoping that it would give some type of illusion that he was just tired and cranky, not frustrated and so far from sleep. But he stayed in bed, the glow of the TV illuminating the room while he looked out the clear balcony door every now and then—one he didn't even have the courtesy to close, so Clary had to get up and do it herself. She didn't move much. First, she was out there for an hour, just staring off. Then she changed the music on her iPod. And, momentarily, she would briefly check her phone. But she stayed out there until the sun started to rise, and then she began gathering her things to go inside.

Like a fool, Jace slammed his eyes shut and pretended to take deep breaths as if he was sound asleep. He could hear her close the door and not take a step. He wasn't completely sure if she was looking at him, but he could _feel_ her gaze. And then she walked to her shared bed with Simon and quietly slipped in. Soon enough, he heard her start to take deep breaths and he opened his eyes, looking over Isabelle to check up on her. She had fallen asleep, and finally, sleep came to Jace.

* * *

Waking up in a fog with Norah Jones playing quietly in the room, he put an arm over his eyes to shield them from the light. And then he looked to his right, over at Clary, who had the blanket over her face.

"Jace," Isabelle whispered, and he peeked out of his right eye to look at her. He winced until his eyes adjusted. "Get up soon; we're gonna get breakfast and head out."

"What time is it?" he mumbled, his voice almost unrecognizable because it was thick with sleep.

Isabelle began putting stuff in her bag. "Almost 8." She glanced between him and Clary. "What time did you two sleep?"

"He slept early." Jace looked over, startled when Clary answered for him. "I slept at sunrise."

Isabelle looked at Jace with a raised eyebrow, and he knew immediately that she knew he was definitely awake until sunrise. "Oh." She cleared her throat. "Well, you can catch up on sleep in the car. Let's get breakfast first."

With that, Clary pulled the sheet off and sat up in bed. She stared down at the comforter in a complete haze while Jace focused his eyes on the ceiling above of them, ignoring the fact that he could feel Isabelle staring him down.

* * *

But he couldn't ignore Isabelle any longer when Simon and Clary left their outside table at breakfast to get another cup of coffee.

Isabelle set her fork down and waited for the exact moment that the door closed to ask, "Why are you lying?"

Jace pretended not to understand, and leaned in as if he didn't hear.

"Why are you acting dumb?" She sat back in her chair. "Why are you watching Clary from the bed like a stalker? What did you do?"

Jace groaned. "Okay, fine." He leaned forward, looked through the glass windows to check if Clary and Simon were still at the counter. They decided to sit down, and he figured Clary was telling Simon about the night before. "Remember how I told you on our beer run that I was going to distance myself from her? Not in a huge way, but just so I wouldn't get so—"

"Attached?"

"Yes, attached. Thank you for finishing a sentence I was perfectly capable of finishing." Isabelle put her hands up in defense, and he sighed. "Fine, I'll stop being rude."

"You are one sassy comment away from getting slapped."

Jace scrunched his nose. "Duly noted. Well, last night we were talking, and I asked her—a little aggressively, I might add—why she blamed herself so much for Sebastian."

Isabelle's jaw dropped dramatically, and he rolled his eyes at it. "Nooo."

Jace ignored her. "And then she was just saying how she's weak, or she feels weak, and then I held her hand—fingers laced, because I'm as brainless as they come—and then I kissed the back of her hand, told her she wasn't, and then left her out there." He stared at the ground. "I didn't even close the door."

"Oh." Isabelle nodded, sipping her coffee. "That's very intimate for backing off. And very rude for not closing the door."

Jace turned to check on Clary and Simon, and back to Isabelle. "Yeah."

"So?" Isabelle asked. "What now?"

Jace pressed the front of his fist against his mouth and glanced at her. "I don't know."

Leaning in, Isabelle whispered, "For what it's worth, I support you in just telling her. It's better than forming a friendship with her, and then walking away from that. Besides, I've never seen you so uncool. I happen to think it's a good thing."

Jace opened his mouth to reply, and promptly closed it once the door opened, and he could hear Simon's voice behind him.

* * *

"Hey," Clary said, reaching out to lightly touch his arm. He turned around and tried to look as normal as possible. She was quiet for a moment when Simon and Isabelle walked past her towards the car. "Last night, I didn't get to ask you about…" Her eyebrows furrowed as he watched her try to find the words. "By the time I got inside, you were sleeping, so I didn't wanna wake you up, but last night, when you—"

"Sorry about that," he blurted, and she shook her head.

"No, it's okay. I didn't mean to make it sound like it was a bad thing, I just—"

"It was weird," he interrupted her, and then he watched a realization hit her. He inwardly groaned at how he was showing her the opposite of how he felt.

"Oh," she whispered. She began to nod, and took a step back. " Yeah, no. I mean, I just wanted to say thanks."

"For kissing your hand?" he asked before he could stop himself from asking such a dumb question. He wanted to smack himself.

"No." She smiled a little. "For being a friend."

"Oh." He was the one to whisper now, and he nodded. "Yeah."

She stepped forward, glancing at Simon and Isabelle behind him. "Look, I don't really have _that_ type of support, other than Isabelle and Simon, so it meant a lot to me." She held eye contact with him. "Thanks for believing in me, Jace."

Jace smiled down at her, and responded quietly, "Always."

With that, she wrapped her arms around him for a quick hug, and left quickly. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He knew he should stop her. To say something. Anything to get her to turn around so that he could really explain. So that he could tell her that he didn't only do it to be a friend, but because he wanted to show her that he wanted better for her. That he wanted to be better for her. But he didn't, and he turned slowly to follow her into the car.

* * *

Right when they climbed into the car, settled in, blankets and pillows piled up in the back for both Clary and Jace, who were struggling to keep their eyes open, Simon played the _Mine is Yours_ album by Cold War Kids, and proclaimed that they would play it the entire drive to Las Vegas.

He was only met with smiles from Isabelle and Clary, who Jace figured introduced it to both of her best friends. Clary and Isabelle sang the line _I was diggin' my strange_ loudly with identical grins on their faces and Simon and Clary sang the lyrics to "Royal Blue" in its entirety. It was after that that Clary began to drift off to sleep, and as Jace discovered, him too. Because if Clary was awake, he couldn't help but be awake too. So whenever she caught sleep, his mind and body felt like it could too. It was a realization that made his stomach churn.

As his mind began to slow down and get away from the way he was berating himself for pushing Clary away, he could finally listen to the lyrics of the song playing.

 _You wait on letters_

 _Fishing for any sign of life_

 _Drinks after dinner_

 _Your friends will get you to unwind_

 _Let's skip the charades_

 _Can we just speak plain?_

 _I'm two left feet when_

 _I'm home we tap danced on broken glass_

 _Somehow you manage_

 _To keep your sense of humor intact_

With that, he glanced over at Clary, who had her eyes closed, mouthing along to the lyrics, and he stared, his eyes weighing heavier by the second.

 _Let's skip the charades_

 _You're seeing right through me anyway_

 _Can we just speak plain?_

 _We're playing for the same team_

 _But I'm the one that's acting like_

 _Acting like_

 _Acting like_

 _I'm so strong_

 _You're the one that's acting like_

 _Acting like_

 _Acting like_

 _Nothing's wrong_

With a deep breath, Jace faced the fact that Isabelle was right. He had already started a friendship with Clary, one that was important to him, and it was unfair of him to try and break it off. Not only for her, but for himself. Jace knew that somehow she could be good for him. Especially as a friend. She uplifted him, just by understanding him. And she showed him that he was able to connect with someone, other than Isabelle and Alec, who had been present in his life just as long as his own parents.

 _You dodged the bullet_

 _You do your best when you're busiest_

 _You're disconnected_

 _You can't find your name in the script_

 _It was you who were wildest_

 _It was you who floated above us all_

 _I held on with wires_

 _Will you come back down if I let you go?_

As he gave in and closed his eyes, he could only think of the lyrics ringing in his mind, and the thought that if he were to let Clary go, he would regret it.

And if this road trip was teaching him anything, it was that he had no space, or time, for regret.

* * *

When the afternoon came, Simon ended his driving shift and they grabbed an early dinner. Jace noticed Clary acting the way she did when he first mentioned Sebastian to her. Not quite upset with him, or ignoring him, but definitely closed off. It unsettled him more than the last time, and he barely spoke, using the excuse of being tired when Isabelle asked what was wrong. What was worse was when he and Clary were in the car together, Simon and Isabelle sleeping in the back, they settled in a silence he didn't even know existed. And with his incessant tapping against the steering wheel, the same album playing, and Clary turned away from him, he could feel himself unraveling.

"I need to make a stop," Jace said a little too loud, startling Clary out of her daze.

"Okay." She pointed. "The gas station."

"Go in with me."

She looked over at him, obviously confused. "Are you going to the bathroom? Because I don't wanna be there."

He made a face of disgust, retorting, "No."

"You're the one asking me to go in there with you."

He faced forward, back at the road, checking his rearview mirror to see if Isabelle and Simon were still asleep.

"I need you to pick candy for me, Clarissa," he explained, and was met with the same confusion.

"Okay?"

"Okay." Clary jerked to the left a little when Jace made the exit turn too abruptly.

Clary shot him a dirty look when they both got out of the car. Jace opened the window for Isabelle and Simon, figuring that they would be more mad about getting kidnapped in a stolen car than left in there.

Clary led the way when the automatic doors opened, and then waved her hand across the candy section. "Alright. Take your pick, Wayland."

Jace shoved his hands in his pockets when she turned around to look at him expectantly. "Well, I want you to choose. That's why you came in."

Clary rolled her eyes and spun around. "You're being absolutely bizarre. I hope you're aware."

Jace locked his jaw for a second, and then stepped forward, right in front of her.

"Look, about earlier," he started, and Clary opened her mouth. "When I told you that it was weird, and when I kept interrupting you—"

"No." Clary shook her head, and started to step to the side to back away from him. "Jace, it's fine. Really. What I was going to ask was embarrassing—"

Jace reached out and took her hand so she would stop moving.

"Look, I like you." And he smiled. Not only because Clary looked so caught off guard that her mouth opened very slightly in a cliche way. Or because him liking her was such a cliche of the popular guy liking the girl who wasn't interested. But because he finally got it out there, and that he really going for it. No matter what her reaction would be. "And this morning, I was just trying not to make it weird because I'm trying to let you be. I know how important this trip is to you, and"—he let out an awkward laugh—"I guess I suck at holding back, because a couple of hours after that decision, I kissed your hand." He took a deep breath. "I also hope you're good at being friends with someone who confesses that they like you, because I _want_ to be your friend, Clary. Need to, actually. And I just hope you're okay with that."

He watched as she gulped, looking right back at him. He took a deep breath and pursed his lips together. He turned to walk away from her, but froze when he felt her lightly hold onto his wrist. He looked over his shoulder at her, and in a rush, she was on her toes, putting her hand on the right side of his face, and inches away from pressing her lips against his.

He could feel her smile when he leaned in, closing the gap between them. And he smiled back when she kissed him one more time before her heels touched the ground.

He looked down as she was clearly trying not to smile. She pointed. "The sour patch watermelons." She shook her head, giving him a flash of a grin, and then rolled her eyes. "I'll be in the car, you weirdo." And, with that, she walked away from him, his gaze following her as the automatic doors opened.

* * *

 **A/N:** These twooo. Finally. If you've read any of my other stories, it usually gets me a while to this point where Jace and Clary are just straight up admitting feelings & making moves, but that's the beauty of this story. I love writing them this way.

Okay, I can't lie. I actually had this chapter written up shortly after the last one but I had to update DLF first, which I did, but then I completely forgot about sending this to be beta'ed and posting it for you guys. I've been busier than my usual busy these past couple of months, and if forgetting about a whole chapter isn't proof of that, then I don't know what else is. So sorry for the delay, you guys.

Anyway, would love to know what you guys thought of this chapter. I know we've all been waiting for something like this to happen, soo let me know what you think! Let me know what you loved. **Reviews & feedback, please!**

* * *

Thank you, thank you, thank you for the reviews, favorites, and alerts for this story! Thank you for reading along & being patient with me, ya beautiful souls.

Shout out to **rippingbutterflywings** for beta'ing this so quickly, and last minute because of my dumb ass. You are forever lovely. Thank you MS Clary, sincerely. Always hugging you from afar.

Shout out to **Tiffany Jude** for this song that I'll love forever, and for consistently daydreaming with me about being together because it always inspires me for this. Shout out to **MLC** for many things  & for engagin' me and all that. That's a very ridiculous shout out but lol, oh well. Shout out to **Amanda B Davis** for having much love for this story, and I have much love for you.

Shout out to **Allieanna, crazyweirdunique, Debra Williams, depper57, insolitasum, , Bubblegum234, Nlresda123, Guest, JMDeaton, brightdarknessx, Lexi herondale carstairs,** and **Guest**! Thank you for your reviews! Always appreciate them very much, and love reading what you guys liked. Thank you for taking the time. I'll be replying to reviews tomorrow :)

 **Guest:** Thank you for your review! I hope you liked this chapter!

 **Guest:** Thank you for your review! I'm definitelyy still writing for Winter, I've just been busy these past couple months, and try not to force chapters when I write them, if that makes sense, heh. But I'm definitely still writing, I love it too much to stop for too long :) I hope you liked the update!


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